2012 and 2013

Looking back on 2012:

I would say that overall it was a great year. I got to know some great people, through this blog and on recon, and was lucky enough to meet up with some of them. I consider TSkinBoot and Joept as close friends now, the value of their friendship is priceless to me. They know my bad (or less-good!) sides, yet I feel they accept me for who I am, and consider me more than just a play-friend. They made me feel good about myself which is something I needed this year.
I should mention boydenon as well; we had some fun but I consider him a friend as well. But he definitely brought out the dom/sadist in me hehe. And he still talks to me so I don't think I've done a bad job!

Some highlights of the year:

• Staying with Joept: I wrote too many entries about this but it's quite possibly the best thing I did in 2012. The first time I went to him I wasn't expecting too much (and even expected to get kicked out once he found out I'm actually a really boring person). But I found two new friends and discovered a lot of new things. And what I remember the most are the little things. Kneeling before being allowed to sit at the table to eat. Having to take the strap with me to bed one night. And asking "daddy" if I can have another ice cream hehe. So many good memories. I wrote a lot about my first stay in April (start from the bottom of the page if you want to read it all).
• The Fetishbound visits (one and two): I've said it enough times, but really, it's such a great event. I still don't like going to clubs in general but feel perfectly safe and accepted here. I hope I can go a couple of times next year as well.
• First time as switch/assistent-dom with Master P and tallsub : was important to me as I discovered what I liked when having someone "under" me. Which mostly is tickling, spanking and a fair amount of CBT (although I'd prefer calling it "cock and ball play" - CBP! - as it doesn't have to involve torture to make it interesting for both parties).

Of course it wasn't all good this year. I didn't really have any negative experiences with other people, but in general it's clear I need to work on my self-confidence, and I should make more of an effort to go out and meet people.

Looking forward to 2013:

There are still lots of things to discover, things I want to try out for myself, things I know I'd like in theory but still have to put into practice :) Most of all though, I want to spend more time with the people I like. I also want to meet some people I've been speaking with for quite a while now, like TheBondageCub and BearPaul. It would be great if we could all meet up in Manchester at some point.

As for the blog...I'm pretty happy with it the way it is now, although I feel it's another "stage" right now than it was a year ago. Don't ask me what I mean by that hehe. I guess a blog is always evolving in a way, and I feel the last couple of months have been different than before. But then 2011 was different than 2010, and so on. Anyway, I definitely want to do another story like the Skin one, and of course I'll update whenever I have some kinky news to share.

That's all I can think of for now...so I hope everyone has a safe, happy and kinky 2013!

some new gear

Ever since TSkinBoot linked me to the ASMC site, I wanted to buy some stuff from it. I kept visiting it, adding stuff to my cart, and then closing the window, thinking "oh it's too expensive and I'll rarely use any of it anyway". But a couple of weeks ago I couldn't stop myself for ordering some stuff, pretending it's a Christmas present to my kinky self haha.

I made a few pictures of the boots and camos I bought...

This is a T-shirt that TSkinBoot made for me, "bad boy" :) This is the outfit I'll wear for the next Fetishbound:

Now for some more "dom" pictures hehe. Who wants to lick my boots? :P 

And this is a good outfit for military/kidnap games I think (t-shirt isn't new by the way)

The boots feel great, though maybe I should've picked one size smaller - but I can always wear extra socks. I picked "small" for the trousers, which proved to be too narrow around my waist (or rather, I'm too fat!) but  if I open the top button and wear a belt, it's perfectly fine. That's always the danger of ordering clothes/gear off the internet I guess, it's always better if you can try out stuff yourself before buying it. Still, I don't regret buying it in the least, it's great gear, I wear my boots for short walks (not used to the weight so long walks wouldn't be good for me hehe), the camo trousers look and feel great as well. It definitely makes it easier to get into the dom headspace when wearing gear like this. I hope in 2013 I can get someone to lick my boots ;)

Happy Holidays

Whatever it is you're celebrating (In my case: Saturnalia!), be safe and be happy with the things you have and the people who love you.


I hope the boys reading this have been good this year, otherwise "bad" Rauber-Santa might come to visit! Bad boys don't get a lump of coal, they get a good beating! And I'm sure they won't like the toys he has in his sack :)

(thanks to TSkinBoot for making this picture look good!)

Two more blog entries before the year ends: more pics that I took on that day, and a big "this was 2012" entry.

Fetish of the week: chastity devices/orgasm control

Locking up a boy's cock something very powerful. His cock is no longer under his control. In a way, his masculinity is taken away. If you can't even touch your own cock, what does that make you? Less than a man, less than a boy.

Was that dramatic enough for you? Hehe. In all seriousness, the mental aspect of having your dick locked up is often underestimated. I think most locked boys have mixed feelings: in a way it feels great to give up that control, it's exciting. On the other hand, not being able to touch your dick when you feel like it is annoying. Why can't you touch what's yours? Well, is it still yours in the first place, or does it belong now to whoever holds the key?
I think chastity devices and orgasm control are great tools to keep a sub/slave in line. In a way it's a good training tool to teach them that their cock isn't important anymore, the only cock that matters is their dom's. Of course, in an ideal situation a device isn't even needed and the sub is honest about his behavior... but on the other hand, a shiny metal device just looks so good, doesn't it?


As for my personal experiences:
While I had quite a few fetishes before I ever went on the internet, chastity devices were something I only read about once I had access to the WWW. I have no idea how I stumbled upon it, but a site like altarboy's was responsible for a lot of, um, leakage :)  After a while I wanted my own device. I bought a CB3000 off ebay and of course it was a fake. It worked, sort of, but wasn't the original product. Later I bought a CB6000, and also found a CB2000 for cheap. Of all those I liked the CB2000 the most, even though the cage was too wide for me, it caused me the least trouble. The 6000's design always caused some of my foreskin to be trapped at random times, and that always resulted in swollen foreskin.

The longest I've been locked up continuously was about 4 weeks - self-locked, as a challenge of sorts. It was no fun at all :) I spent most of this year as a free boy. I guess my longest period locked this year was a little over 2 weeks. A week before going to London in April, I was instructed not to cum anymore...and during my stay with Joept I didn't cum either. I was locked in my cb2000 pretty much the entire time :) I honestly didn't even miss touching my own cock, it just felt natural after a while.

My favourite chastity device is the Jail Bird from Mature Metal. Below you can see the awesome badgroveboy demonstrating it:

I haven't been in one myself, but from all the experiences I've read it's probably the best non-belt device out there. When you order it you can customize pretty much everything about it - which means it's perfect for someone with a tiny cock like me hehe. My cock can get even smaller than badgroveboy's one, which makes all the plastic devices pretty useless as I can easily pull out. But with a custom made device that shouldn't be a problem anymore.

Of course the only 100% safe way would be a full belt, or getting a piercing that can be integrated with a device. First option is stupidly expensive, second option wouldn't work with me as I have too much foreskin.  Still, IF I ever get owned, I wouldn't mind wearing a device of any kind for as long as my owner wants to. Well, maybe not forever. And if I ever have a boy of my own, you can be sure he'll be locked up more often than not!

To conclude, as always, some links:

LockedM4M: chastity site for gay men. If you're looking for a keyholder this isn't a bad place to start.
Locked&Denied: easily the best chastity blog out there. Daily updates, pics, personal experiences, etc. Also I get most of my traffic from being on his blog list, so please return the favour hehe.
Chastitymansion forums: generally more "straight", but with plenty of experiences from locked guys.
Steelworxx.de: they have a nice selection of affordable metal devices. Feel free to buy me the Steelheart as my christmas present hehehe.
Chastity belt reviews: not updated recently but still a good database of chastity device reviews.

(this was the last "fetish of the week" of this year - this feature may or may not come back next year, depending on my level of laziness!)

Fetish of the week: chain collars

A chain collar is the perfect sign of ownership. For me, a locked chain around someone's neck shows that he's owned, but also protected by his Sir/Boss/Master. Of course pups should have a dog tag hanging from the chain as well :)
And unlike a "serious" leather or metal collar, chain collars can be perfectly wearable 24/7 in vanilla environments. If people say anything about it you can easily say something like "it's a gift from my (boy)friend" without actually lying!

I'll talk a bit about my experiences first.
A few months ago, TSkinBoot sent me a nice chain and padlock. No, not to collar me, it was a gift, and a very nice one. He says it's my chain now but I still very much consider it his chain :) I've started wearing it every night before bed, it's become a tradition of sorts. It doesn't really help me get to sleep faster, but often it helps me fall asleep happier than usual, holding the chain and thinking someone gave this to me because he likes me. And my train of thoughts often leads me to good memories of other kinky situations I've been in this year, so a lot of times I fall asleep happy and horny hehe.
In the end, for me it's really more like a "friendship chain", like you have friendship bracelets hehe, only a bit kinkier :)

"my" chain.

There are a few of my friends lucky enough to have been collared by their Sir, Owner, Boss, boyfriend or husband. First of all, Joept collared his boyfriend with this chain:

(found at D.Vote)

He loves wearing it, and only takes it off when he's with his family (they live quite far away), so basically he wears it 24/7 with one exception.

I wore his old chain (same design) for my entire stay with them in April, and it did make me feel safe and protected, while also making me aware of my position in the hierarchy hehe. You know, sometimes I woke up a little confused and even a bit scared - "why am I in this house where I get beaten every day!!" But feeling and touching the chain calmed me down, and reminded me of what Joept said about it: locking that chain on me means that he wants me there as his boy, happy and safe under his protection. 

I got so used to it I was already out of the house, on my way home, before realising I was still wearing it!! Actually having it taken off did make me feel sad for a bit, but it was great while it lasted...

Moving on, my friend Kaz has a permanent chain collar now, you can read how he did it in this post. How is that for total devotion to his owner? I really admire him and what he did, I don't think I could do it to be honest!

One of my favourite bloggers BadGroveBoy got a new locked chain for his birthday, you can read about it here. Alternatively, he made a great post about how wearing a collar in every day life can be a good reminder of the collared boy's situation. Anyway, this is the chain (from Mr. S Leather):

Much thicker and no doubt heavier than any chain I ever wore!

Last but not least, TSkinBoot recently collared smse14, you can read about it here. Their situation is a little different but so far everything is going well! 

So yeah, I can't help being a little jealous of all the people I mentioned here hehe. The day I get collared by a loving dom/boyfriend/whatever will be a very happy day indeed...

fetish of the week: metal bondage

Metal restraints and chains were really my first fetish ever. When I was around 12 I read a comic (well, bande dessinée to be precise) which started with a scene in a medieval dungeon. Guys in heavy metal restraints, chained to the wall, some guys in really small cages, some guys being tortured on the rack. I felt funny in my stomach when seeing this. When I was a bit older it had an effect on my penis as well... so while other boys my age were fantasising about girls or boys, I was fantasising about being chained and locked up!

Unfortunately I haven't had much experience with metal bondage so far. I've been in handcuffs (of course) but nothing heavier than that. I'm hoping to change that next year, if all goes well I will do a trip to Manchester and hopefully meet up with a few people, including the Bondage Cub, who has a nice collection of gear. And yesterday my friend, mentor and eternal tormentor Joept told me he ordered some metal spreader bars, one set for wrists and neck and a set for wrists and ankles. Looking forward to those new experiences...and kind of dreading it a little as well, who knows what kind of evil things they will do to me once I'm restrained!

Okay, now for the reason you clicked on this entry: pictures!

A few items from the Bondage Cub's collection...

And an old picture of him showing off double rigid irons:

A few internet/tumblr favourites:

(unknown source)

(from Prometheus chained)

(from fagg-it)

(from Kevin's place)

(from Dr. Mad Max)

I'm not going to put any more pics here but I'll share some links:

- The Dogcatcher made an entry with some internet finds...good stuff. Follow his blog if you don't already!

- MetalBondNYC - who doesn't know this site?
- Fossil9's blog has quite a few entries that features metal bondage (and cages). Always beautifully done.

As always, comments are welcome, let me know what you like and if you know any more interesting sites, blogs or videos that feature metal bondage. 

Last year's leaves

While making a back-up of stuff on my old laptop, I came across some mails that brought back a lot of memories...

About a year and a half ago, I joined a site called Locked and Denied. It was a 'social network' site for people into chastity. Back then, I really was into chastity in a big way, and I found the site to be really fun; fairly small-scale, and with great interaction between members. I met a few nice people on it, had some great conversations and talked about various topics related to chastity and being a sub. Thanks to that site I also did my first "long" (about 5 weeks) lock up period. I don't think I would've made it that far if it weren't for the support from the people there.
But around that time I also had my first real-life BDSM experiences, and chastity just didn't seem as important anymore. After a while I didn't visit the site that often anymore, and at some point the site went down. Really a shame it had to happen like that, I loved the community, and I hope one day he finds the time and energy to get it up again at some point.

Anyway, I want to talk about one guy in particular I met through that site. The first few messages were just general talk, but I noticed this dominant undertone in his messages, and after a while I simply asked him if I could call him "Sir" because it somehow seemed natural to address him that way. Well it only got better from then on hehe. We had some really nice conversations and we were really quite compatible. He was quite sadistic (maybe too sadistic for me), but when he talked about his fantasies it also involved romantic elements. He really wasn't a random brute - if he was I doubt we would've exchanged more than two messages.

He was really good at keeping me in a submissive mindset; he knew that chastity, corporal punishment and humiliation were things I needed to be (and remain) a good boy. He was breaking me down, piece by piece, until I would fully accept that submissive slut deep inside me. I even made two videos for him, both of them were about spanking my balls while in chastity. He told me to put them on my xtube account, but I begged him not to expose me to such humiliation (you could clearly see my face on the video), and he showed his kindness by not forcing me to do it hehe. For me, another sign that he might be "evil" but still understanding - like any good dom should be.

Sadly we lost track of each other - last thing I did was send him a "hi Sir how are you?" message on MSN, which went unanswered. Maybe he got bored of me (though, if he was being honest, I thought we really had something going on and I would've loved to visit him), maybe it was just a bad time (for both us), maybe... who knows?

There were many important things I learned from him, and random bits of conversation I still remember. When he first started talking about the possibility of meeting up, I told him he would end up being disappointed with me. He asked me why. I said I'm not a supermodel or anything, I'm just an average boy. He replied that he's interested in me because average, boy-next-door types are exactly the kind of guys he's into. That was important for me, to get some self-respect and not be embarrassed about my body or who I am in general. Although, I'm sure he loved me being embarrassed about my small dick hehe.

Now, for me, it's sort of funny to write all this, and see the similarities with a certain dom in the UK I started talking to about a year after this. Someone who I also talked to casually before getting to call him "Sir." Someone who is also evil, but understanding, and who beats me (hard!) but hugs me and calls me a "good boy" as well. Someone who also likes to see me naked, humiliated, degraded, fully focused on pleasing my Sir and not having silly thoughts about topping other boys!!

It's funny how things go sometimes. And how we get influenced by seemingly random encounters.

How about a toast? To random encounters. And on a personal note, a toast to all those people who had, and still have, an influence on my kink life.

Fetish of the week: being caged

My fellow blogger BearPaul made a great list of fetishes he likes, and because of that I have some inspiration to continue my 'fetish of the week' series. So, this week, being caged!

A cage is obviously a very powerful symbol in the BDSM world, and it can be many things: a prison for a sub, a place to put your pup to rest, or a storage space for a slave. For me, it's powerful both physically and mentally: you are trapped in a small space, and pretty much every time you move you're reminded of your situation. Being in a cage can give a strong feeling of helplessness, loss of control and dependance on the person who locked you up! It can be a very intense experience, especially for very claustrophobic people, so for some it can be a real punishment. For others, like my friend Paul, it's no doubt a great reward to be in one :)

For my (very underdeveloped) pup side, a cage is something comforting, a place to relax and sleep, a home of sorts. I'd love to spend a night in cage in full pup mode. I doubt my sleep will be comfortable but I think it would be a fun experience in the end.

The only cage time I ever got was with RopeMasterWilly in Antwerp. He has an awesome playroom with pretty much everything you can think of. I asked him if I could spend some time in his cage. Result:

As you can probably tell, I could move very little, and having my head through a hole in the cage makes it even "worse". It's really a quite stressful position, you can't really relax your back or legs, you're trapped! It wasn't easy at all but still a fun experience. The cage has wheels on it, and Master Willy wheeled me around a bit when taking pictures. For me it was quite humiliating, just like you're part of the furniture. Makes you feel pretty helpless as well... 

The other guy I had the session with ended up in the standing cage...later I got in there as well, being tied up against him. It was nice though my time in the "small" cage was more unique and more fun for me in the end. 

I found a couple of good cage videos for the fans:

I stole this video from BearPaul (sorry dude!), but it really is one of the best videos with a caged sub I've seen. Making the boy undress inside the cage is brilliant; it makes him more aware of the fact that he's now trapped. And now being naked, he can't hide the fact that he's excited hehe. Love the muzzle, and the boy being cuffed at the end as well. Not a very comfortable position to be in though...

Two boys in a cage, tied up, shackled, and a hot daddy they have to pleasure. What's not to love? I think the chemistry between the three is great, both boys want daddy to spend the most time with them, and daddy is good at playing them out against each other. Part 2 and 3 are great as well. My favourite bit is in part 3, when he tells one boy "maybe you're my best boy". Other boy: "no Sir!" Obviously he gets a few slaps because no-one asked for his opinion hehehe. Then he spends some time kissing and caressing the 'best' boy while making the 'bad' boy watch, making him even more jealous than he already was. I really love play like that. It really is one of my main fantasies, serving a good dom together with another boy, while having some friendly competition with the other boy (who I would really like anyway, but in serving the dom he obviously is an obstacle between me and the dom hehe). I think it must be quite hard for a dom to get the balance right with two (or more) boys...

But uhh this entry was supposed to be about being caged, yeah. I don't have anything more to say really, so it's up to you. Feel free to share stories, pics or your favourite videos. 

More down time

It's not really been a good couple of weeks - or couple of months even - for me, for a few reasons that (mostly) have nothing to do with kink, but obviously have an influence on my kink life. I definitely have some self-confidence issues I need to work on, it's probably the worst offender mentally. In kink terms, the more I play, the more confident I get about myself. When I haven't played for a few weeks, I don't feel confident enough anymore to meet other people. Of course, the best thing I can do when I feel like that is exactly to meet people and play - but that's easier said than done when I feel so low about myself.

I had it pretty bad this weekend to be honest - even started thinking my kink friends just pretend to like me and don't really care about me at all, and that I'm a failure as a sub anyway, etc. I'm a guy who bottles everything up so I haven't mentioned this to most of them... thinking "why should I bother them with what I feel, it's not their fault, they have nothing to do with it, it's just something I have to deal with alone."

Yes, I know, I'm a 'bad boy' for thinking all that. In fact, I was reminded of the little underwear incident I had with Sir J the first time I went to him. To recap: he ordered me not to bring along any underwear. When I was packing my bags before leaving for London, I thought "So I will be in London for a week, but I'm sure he's going to get bored of me after 3 days and kick me out of his house, so I should bring along 4 pieces of underwear so I have some clean underwear for when I stay in a hotel for the rest of the week."
Now, that made a lot of sense in my head, and to be honest I still don't think it's that crazy or anything hehe, but when Sir J confronted me with this, I felt very silly, and worse, I felt like I hurt his feelings by thinking he would kick me out and therefor not be a good host.
As you know I did get punished for my bad thoughs and for disobeying an order, I even got off lightly I guess. But it was a punishment I needed to clear my mind from bad thoughts.


Anyway, it's getting better...
I talked to my 'little bro' yesterday, because I really felt like I haven't given him enough attention lately (even though he's busy with exams so I shouldn't bother him that much). In fact, I felt like I completely failed as his 'big bro'. I told him that, and he told me not to worry and was very understanding. So that already one thing I don't have to feel bad about. I really do care for him a great deal, so I'm happy I still have his love and friendship.

Today Master P contacted me, we chatted a bit and he's still interested in training me. We're going to try and meet up some time soon, possibly even this week. So that's something to look forward to.

So after rain comes sunshine, or some cliché like that :)

Fetish of the week: boot licking

Sometimes, I get really obsessed with a particular fetish. It dominates my mind in a way that is almost scary.

This week that was boot licking. I don't know why it came up so strong (though I will blame TSkinBoot for introducing me to this particular fetish), but oh boy,  just the thought of licking boots was nearly enough to make me cum. I think the last time I had it this bad was with my skinhead fetish earlier this year, I don't want to tell you how many times I came every day just thinking of being dominated by a skinhead. A few skinhead stories on nifty had the same result. And this gif below is one of the hottest things I found on tumblr:

(source: http://hot-hotter-pics.tumblr.com/post/14354578002)

The first question that always comes up when I'm in this particular mood or whenever I'm discovering a new fetish is "why?". In this case, I think it's fairly simple: a person licking another person's boots is a very strong sign of submission. For me it has an element of humiliation as well, especially when it's done in a club or semi-public place. You are literally and figuratively "lower" than everyone else when you're on the floor licking someone else's boots. It can be a very powerful feeling, and with some verbal play it can be even more intense.

(from TSkinBoot's blog)

And to be honest, it's really the boot licking itself that's a major turn-on, I like boots but on its own it's not really a fetish of mine. For me boot licking is really more about the mental aspect. In time I'll probably own a nice pair or two (really love TSkin's cherry boots pictured above) but it's not really a priority on my kinky 'things to buy' list.

TSkin has 'exploited' this particular fetish of mine this week hehe, on recon he has already made me beg to lick his boots, and admitting that I want to be a good boot boi for him, and that I need lots of training... yes it's "only" online but it's still fun, and the fact that I have already licked his boots a few times makes it easier to imagine and (for me) more meaningful than just random online play. Plus, I really do want to be a good boot licker for him, and I hope he gives me more training next time we meet.


And to end this post, a nice boot licking video I found on xtube:

The boy is hot and I love how eager he is to lick boots... 

Story: Tim enslaved

Rome has never Fallen! 

Ever! Don't they know that the fools! For thousands of years embracing the Earth. Like a boa constrictor, squashing all to mold it at its own image. So who cares if Flanders is not free? Is any one free? Did the nationalists had to raise up? Is that why I am chained in this slave market chained to a marble slab waiting my fate? Tim felt bitter about all he had lost. Him who only ever wanted to live in peace. 

Someone showed interest in him. The slave master pulled him by his chain and started manhandling him showing of his virtues. Tim despised him. His Latin was atrocious...nothing but an educated barbarian brought to do Romes dirty work.

-"Tite ole sir see..tite ole."
Tim corrected him sardonically..he was a scholar after all. If he was to be sold he would be sold with proper Latin!
-"Tight Hole!"
Both purchaser and slavemaster stopped.
The purchaser laughed and moved on.
The slavemaster...no more than a brute hit Tim. 
"Cunt ass ole! I ill sel u to brothel not school!"
Tim fell while the brute kept kicking him in the ribs.

A roman pulled the brute away from Tim.
He laughed as he did it and told the slave master: "Friend, don't damage your own merchandise! Look, who will want to buy him like that all bloody? They will think he is one of those no one can control!"
"I will offer you 5000 euros for him!"
"No sir. he good slave. Do all service! Not complain like dog. 10000 euros sir."
"I will meet you half way as your rebel stands there no better than a mine slave. 7500. It is my last offer."

Tim watched the two barter for his life, sick to the stomach. A price was arranged and the slavemaster ridiculously thanked and bowed, awarding fake blessings to the buyer and his family.

"Follow me boy! I am Iosephus and you belong to me now."
Tim followed the man, half limping from his beating. 
"Are you hungry?"
"Yes dominus", Tim lowered his eyes. He had not eaten in two days.
The man opened his bag and gave him a sandwich.

"You smell boy!...Take your rags off. I bet they haven't washed you since they dragged you from your home.
What, you are ashamed? Strip or I will have to take my belt to you. I will buy you some clothes on the way".

Tim stripped naked and walked behind his owner in the middle of town trying to cover his modesty as best as he could. People looked at him snickering. Probably thinking he deserved nothing better for being a rebellious flem.

The dominus stopped in one of those cheap shops that sells second hand clothes and bought a few pieces. He also asked the owner for a bucket of water and with no warning just poured it down Tim's body. It was freezing.
"Scrub your self boy!" A couple more buckets were brought out and for the laughter of the passers by poured down Tim's shivering body.
"Now put these on". Tim dressed up quickly, wanting for his humiliation to stop. "Now you can enter my car without soiling it."

Sitting by the car a thin tall young man wearing a slave collar. He looked well fed and even got a pat on his head as he opened the door respectfully to his master. 
"Good boy Tom. Take us home...I decided to buy a wretched before he lost his life to his well educated Latin tongue."

Tom had a quick look at Tim with slight disgust. The few buckets of water had done just a bit of good to Tim's figure and was probably thinking about the seats he would have to clean again once arriving home. But he made no complaint.

Tim was tired and soon after seating in the car he fell asleep. He was just too tired to fight.

He dreamt about Peter. Not the Peter tied down in the market, beaten and naked, just moments before being taken away, but the handsome young man that had allowed Tim to take his virginity. Tim regretted the most not being able to protect those he loved.

When he woke up the car was stopping by a hotel.

The master did the check in and him and the other slave followed him to the room. While the dominus went downstairs to eat in the restaurant, a hotel servant brought two metal plates with food for the two slaves. Tim just looked at Tom too numb to ask anything. Tom just said: "don't worry. dominus is a good man he won't hit you if don't give him a reason and he always feeds his slaves properly". He ate with pleasure savouring each morsel of the simple food and keeping his eyes on Tom.

Tom had meanwhile removed his clothes and went for a quick shower...he returned naked...so handsome...no bruises visible on his body...maybe he was right. Tom even put the TV on. News showing the last rebellious strongholds falling and the Imperial decrees enslaving the whole of the Flemish population condemned as rebellious ungrateful dogs.
Tim felt like weeping but even for that he had no strength.

Master came back and was helped by Tom to strip and shower. Tim looked at his owners naked body...a hard on as Tom massaged his feet. Tom got a kiss...a tender one, and as if he was used to it layed on the bed tummy down and legs slightly opened.

"Make no noise boy". From his position on the floor Tim could clearly see his owners cock burying itself into the lads arse hole...he moaned a bit though but only got a stern shush from the master. It lasted for a while...until the master grunted satisfied and rolled on the bed. He was about to get out of the bed to lay on the floor, with no doubt a usual place for him to sleep when travelling with his master but master pulled him back.

"Turn the lights off, you are sleeping in bed tonight." The dominus embraced his slave and even kissed the back of his head.

Tim was transfixed...Was that how it had looked when he had pushed his cock into Peters virgin tight hole. He remembered his little buddy biting the pillow and fighting not to moan in pain...he remembered how it felt to fuck such a tight boy. How he became an animal towards the end and didn't even stopped fucking Peter when the pain was too much and he asked him to stop.

Tim knew he would feel what Peter felt. He knew it was a matter of time.

He fell asleep on the floor thinking about Peter...and Tom and his masters fat cock fucking Tom or was it Peter...or himself?

Tomorrow it would be another day...Tim felt the wet patch on his briefs, sighed and fell asleep.

--------------

This was a story that J wrote for me, some time after I first visited him. It randomly came into my thoughts again a month ago, and I thought it was too good not to show other people. Last week I told J he should start his own blog to publish stories like this, but he gave me permission to post it on my blog.
I really love the story - I guess mostly because there's quite a bit of personal stuff in it, but also because the writing style is very exciting, I really do think he's a better writer than I am. It's also a rather atypical BDSM/slave story, the alternative present setting makes it very interesting .
"Will the story be continued?" I hear some of you ask (yes, I hear voices in my head). Depends on J of course, I already know how it 'ends' in a way, but there's a long way to go with potentially plenty of adventures for the poor (or lucky!) slave.
Feel free to tell me what you think of the story :)

Practical

Guys, I need your help. I got a little assignment from J:


"Trying to make a list of ideal skills that the perfect master should have. Am putting less emphasis on the moral skills (as I mostly believe that you either have it or not: things like empathy for your subject, common sense etc) but actual skills: bondage, first aid, cp techniques...

See if the guys in your blog are willing to give you a hand with that."


So what do you think, what practical skills should the perfect master have? Feel free to just describe your ideal  master (even if it's not 100% realistic).
I've been thinking about it, and the first few things that came up for me were all related to personality and attitude (towards various aspects of BDSM), I never really thought about the practical skills. So I could use your help :)

FetishBound - London visit

I arrived Friday around noon in London, and went to J's place in Hounslow. I had a pretty long nap (over 2 hours, very weird...) and by that time J was home. We had a long talk (well, J talked, I listened), and before I knew it was already 6:30, and I still needed to eat something, get my haircut and take a shower. Plan A was to get to FetishBound very early, and plan B was to meet up with TSkin when his train arrived, so now only plan B was an option.

So I finally got out of the house - no thanks to J, who, when I was ready to leave, pushed me over the sofa edge and gave me a quick but hard beating!! I think he wanted me to be late so TSkin would punish me. Like I said many times before, he's evil!!! Even saying "I asked for it", pfff.... :)

Anyway - met up with TSkin at King's Cross and went to the club. Outside we met Kaz, it was nice finally meeting him after many months of reading his blog and chatting on twitter and such. Plus I think he's hot :)
Once inside, Kaz got out his ropes and started tying me up... but first I had to lick TSkin's boots, even though I didn't want to hehe.
Anyway, I was put on the table and Kaz did a nice hogtie on me. It felt quite good... TSkin first gagged me with a sock and then used a gasmask on me. This was nice...until people (no idea who!) started teasing and tickling me. I think at some point there were about 4 guys poking and teasing and tickling me... grrr!!

I was a bit in two minds after that - it was very intense and I could've done with a short rest, plus I started disliking the gasmask, but on the other hand I wanted to stay in bondage longer. Well, Kaz decided to untie me anyway. Other people wanted to use the table I think, I can't be selfish all the time I guess!
TSkin had me on my knees again licking his boots, but this time he put his other boot in my neck. My ass got beaten as well... it was a very humiliating position, but I think it must've looked quite hot actually :D
As always after an intense or "painful" scene, I needed a cuddle and luckily TSkin allowed me a little break :D

Though my next punishment was easily the worst of the evening...I had to suck another boy's cock!!! The horror! As a straight boy there really is no worse punishment than that!!
Okay, the boy, digiboi, was hot and had a very yummy cock... I worked up quite a sweat pleasuring him. I loved that someone put 2 padlocks around his balls hehe, made them a little swollen and sensitive... once I got bored of sucking and licking, I started treating his cock and balls a bit harder... I have to honestly say that was more fun for me than just sucking him off...I guess there is a bit of sadist in me. He loved it though. I also wasn't sure (I couldn't dare look!) but I think we attracted quite a crowd as well. To be honest he is a very hot boy and a regular at FB, and I don't think he'll ever not find people to play with.

While that was happening TSkin had some rope fun with smse14... I knew him from twitter, he's a very nice guy and a good bondage victim hehe. After a while I had my fun with him as well... when his arse was exposed I couldn't resist spanking him a bit. I don't think I did a good job at all (though he said it was fine afterwards), and I was feeling a bit self-conscious as I knew there were a few people watching me, so I didn't feel too comfortable and decided not to continue (although his arse cheeks were warmed up and looked very nice at that point...)

I think that was about all the play I got/did. It was nice seeing some familiar faces, obviously the more I go the more people I will start to recognise, and the easier it gets to make contact and have a chat or even play. I do regret not coming earlier, being tied up by StandThankAnon was something we talked about but unfortunately there was no time this time. My fault.

As I said last time, FetishBound is easily my favourite kink event, it's very relaxed, with a great variety in age and kinks. And you just have to love the kennel, so cute to see the pups play together hehe. Though Knotts (StandThankAnon's inner pup) was extremely naughty... that pup really needs a very strict handler!!
Anyway, just like last time it was a lot of fun, not only the play I got but also watching other people enjoy themselves... I hope to return many many times to this event.

The rest of my stay in London wasn't as exciting unfortunately... firstly because J was very very busy with uni and job training stuff, and I had a cold/allergies. On saturday I only went outside to get food, though J allowed me some fun by sniffing his underwear while he took a shower (I really love sniffing his used underwear...) and I had to admit to him I prefered cock over pussy... I only did that because I knew he would smack me otherwise hehe.

On Sunday I wanted to go to Camden because I felt a little better, but changed my mind as I didn't feel so good in the afternoon. Still wanted to leave the house so I took a nice walk. In the evening I was feeling cheeky and asked him if I could lick his feet at some point before I went back home. And I got my fun later that evening :) I still don't quite understand that particular fetish of mine, but oh well, as long as it's fun for me there's no harm done, right?

Met up with TSkin monday morning at Costas before his train left...(I, of course, didn't drink coffee...boys drink hot chocolate!!) I wish we could've spent more time together on this visit, maybe next time. We exchanged gifts (you can see what I got below...) and said goodbye. I went to Camden market after that...it was early so still very very empty, but I quite liked the atmosphere of the place...sort of punk and anarchistic in a way...but still mostly capitalistic! At some point I felt like I was in Hong Kong as two asian ladies in opposing stalls were trying to lure me to buy some food with them, one addressing me in her native language and another calling me "darling" hahaha. That was too funny. Anyway, I'm definitely going there again next time I'm in London. Maybe to get a nice tattoo or to get my nipples pierced :D

Monday evening we went to Nandos, I met J's ex-boyfriend who is a very charming man. Kind of a shame he's not into kink! But it's nice to see how much J, his current boyfriend, and ex-boyfriend all get along. Oh, and before that J gifted me a jockstrap... my first jockstrap!! (to be honest I think J gave it to me because he felt guilty about being too busy to play with me!)

And on Tuesday I went back home!
So yeah, I guess I didn't get as much play as I wanted to, and I definitely didn't get the punishments I deserved... but on the other hand, FB was fun, I really enjoyed seeing TSkin again, and as always I enjoyed staying with J and his boyfriend. My friendship with J is something I value greatly, I consider him one of my best friends, one of the many reasons being that he just accepts me the way I am, something that's very important to me. So it's kind of hard for me that I only see him face-to-face for a few days every 3-4 months or so... yes we chat online but it's not the same.

Anyway...

I don't have a good pic of the t-shirt TSkin gave me, so here's the one he sent me:

(rauberx on the front left side, "bad boy" on the back)

I wish I had some pictures to share from FetishBound, but you can only see my shoes in 2 pictures haha. Such a shame as I'm sure the hogtie Kaz did on me looked great, and I think the runners kit I was wearing (from Karrimor, picked up at Sportsdirect, very cheap), plus my nice sneakers, didn't look too bad on me either. Well, I liked it anyway.
But if you still want to see the pics of that evening, here they are.

That's all I have to say I think. You can check out TSkin's report of his stay in London.

weekend getaway

The past week or so, I've been thinking of going to London, mostly to attend FetishBound. Staying with J and attending FetishBound, that should be fun right? But then I also thought it would be quite expensive by train (but otherwise it's about 7 hours by bus and ferry), and worst of all, I've been feeling quite down lately and in a very antisocial mood, so meeting up with other people would be fairly dumb idea. On the other hand...being around kinky people and friends might be exactly what I need to lift my spirits. 

So for the past few days I've been going back and forth over this... until last night. TSkin and I were talking about meeting up at FetishBound, and going over a lot practical issues... and then admitted to each other we still hadn't bought train tickets to London. So I suggested we both did that at the same time... and we did. 

No way back now!!!!

I feel kind of guilty for spending quite a bit of money, but I am excited about meeting up with J and TSkin, and at FetishBound there will be a few people I also want to say hi to, especially Kaz who I've been wanting to meet for ages now (and hopefully one day I'll get to Manchester to have some bondage fun with him - on that note, why can't all you Manchester people live in London, it would be so much easier for me to meet you all :P ). 

And I also wouldn't mind (at all) being tied up by StandThankAnon... 

Only problem (FetishBound related) is that I have no gear... the wetsuit I talked about earlier really is a size too small (or my back/shoulders are too big!) as I can't zip it up properly - I can still wear it, but it'll look a bit silly with an open back, and besides, I feel quite claustrophobic in it so I wouldn't be able to wear it an entire evening anyway. 

In the past month I've been thinking of buying some military gear, I already have a camo t-shirt but I need trousers (and probably some decent boots) as well. There used to be 3 shops in my town that sell military gear, but apparently they're all gone. Still going to check out two locations but it'll probably be in vain. Only other solution is finding a shop that sells military gear in London...if anyone knows a good one, let me know. Army Surplus have all the stuff I want (I want this, this (urban camo like my t-shirt) and maybe even that) but they only do online orders now. 

Anyway, I'll look around in some shops tomorrow to see if they have something I like (even if it's just sports gear). Worst case scenario is that I'll have to ask J for some gear, or have TSkin bring some of his along for me... obviously I'd rather have my own stuff, but we'll see, not overly worried about that. 

So this leaves me with about 24 hours left to do all the practical stuff. I'm sure I'll forget things, but the most important thing is just showing up, right? :)

Sunday treat: some xtube videos!

I haven't done this in quite a while, but I saw some hot videos recently and I wanted to share...

First up: short piss play...

...by a familiar person hehe. I took advantage of TSkin's submissive side earlier this week and ordered him to do this... I was a bit worried that he wouldn't do the video after all since he lost some of his submissiveness towards me at the end of the week, but I'm very very happy he went through with it. I think it's easier to do things like this for a friend, instead of just some random dom on the internet. Still, I'm very proud of my mutt ;)
Now honestly, I'm not a huge fan of piss play, but I wanted him to do this because it's fairly easy to set up and doesn't require a lot of preparation (apart from actually having to piss). And of course, I wanted to show off to you guys, in a "hey, look at what my mutt did because -I- told him to do it!" -way. I know, I know, I'm taking this whole dom thing a bit too far.
I actually have more video assignment ideas, but I guess that's for another time :)



Secondly, Mikey duct taped and edged:

Very interesting bondage position (I'll have to try this out on someone one day hehehe), but the main reason why I find this video so hot is Mikey and all the sounds he makes :D And that moment when Daddy Tony asks him "how bad do you want to cum?" Oh man, so good. SO GOOD. Poor Mikey, he was so desperate!!! Hehe. It's honestly one of my favourite videos on xtube now. Really a pleasure, both visually and aurally :D


Lastly, a series of videos, this is part 1:

Sometimes, you don't realise you're in inescapable bondage until someone does something to you you find uncomfortable. I think this is such a case: the boy obviously has very sensitive balls, but I think at least half of his moaning is because he knows there's no escape from this "torture". He can moan and whine all he wants, but the tent in his underwear tells the true story (and I'm obviously imagining things but it looks to me he's even humiliated about his own hard-on).
Really love this video, having been in a similar situation, I can easily imagine myself in the boy's place, so it's highly erotic for me. Don't know if you guys feel the same but again it's one of the best videos I've seen on xtube.

Right, that's all.

dom, dommer, dommest

When I told my little bro there is now someone else calling me 'Sir', his reaction was "your Boss? Cannot be... you are a dom now, omg".

Well, yes, and no. If I had to put it simply: I can dom other people, but that doesn't make me dom in general. I want to quote one of my favourite movies (Fight Club): "sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."
If I can use the same terminology: I (and other people) keep sticking more and more feathers up my butt and maybe I'm starting to look more and more like a chicken, but that still doesn't make me one. I can cluck and flap my wings, but I still can't lay any eggs :)

Also, the weird thing is that I seem to get more respect from some people now that I'm developing my dom side. This confuses me. If they respect me more for actually trying out new things, then great! But I get the feeling some people think a dom is worth more than a sub. Should I use caps to say what I think about that?Okay I'll use caps: that's NOT TRUE. Don't be silly! Think about it, what would a dom be without a sub?
Submission isn't negative, or weak. At least, it shouldn't be. Being a sub requires mental strenght... a sub has to trust the dom, sometimes with his life. That's a choice, and it takes strength to make that choice. (well, unless you do the thinking with your other head and you just take risks and don't think about the consequences...)

Now, back to my situation.
It is a bit weird to call TSkin a mutt, and talking to him like he's a sub, after I've been calling him "Boss" for the past 6 months. However, knowing him for that long means I know most of his turn-ons, and he has sent me a nice list with likes, dislikes and limits (though I should thank his new Boss for that).
Obviously that doesn't mean anything unless there's something I like doing as a dom in his lists of likes. Well, there's plenty, and I hope we get to meet up soon as I intend to give him some dog training. Not that I'm that experienced with it (apart from making a man drinking water out of a bowl on the floor in my living room just by pointing at the bowl), but I'm 100% sure I will enjoy it.
I also want to use him as my bondage subject...I want to try out a couple of things, and I know I'll be more relaxed with him compared to any random guy. And I'm sure there's a lot more kinky trouble he's going to be in when the time comes hehe. I think I'm developing more and more into a spanking top, so I'll always need more "victims" to spank :D
It'll be a learning experience for me, but I don't really want to think about what the "right" way to dom is, I just want to have some fun with him.

In other dom news (one bad, one good): the guy I had over at my house a couple of weeks back deleted his profile on the site I met him. Last thing he told me is that he had a pretty bad experience with some guy, from what I understood the blame for that might've been partly his for not clearly stating his limits... but I understand he probably wanted to take a break after something like that.
Good news is that Tallsub is interested on doing a one-on-one session at my house... bad news is that it has to be on a weekday during 'office hours', which isn't so easy to arrange for me. Anyway, we'll see.

Based on true events

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... (well, unless the galaxy you're in is the Milky Way, and you're in the Sol system, and you live on Earth, in the UK specifically - then you're pretty close)

There was a teenage Girl. While emotionally very fragile, she had a high sex drive and many kinky thoughts in her head.
By chance or by fate, she met a Boy on an online chat service. She found the Boy to be quirky and funny, and wanted to talk to him all the time. After a while, she convinced herself she was in love with him. The Boy,  introverted and sheltered, was initially confused by her declaration of love, but admitted he had feelings for her too. He enjoyed talking about kink and sex with her (amongst many other things), and after a while, in an act of devotion to her, he gave himself to her as a slave, to be used by her for the rest of his life in any way she wanted. Despite that, he knew Girl has a submissive side as well, and was happy to 'switch' for her.

Unfortunately, the emotional instability of Girl was something Boy had quite a lot of trouble with. No matter how he reacted, Girl had bouts of deep depression and strong suicidal feelings. This affected Boy as well, he hated the feelings of helplessness he had, and for his own sanity, he felt he had no choice but to end the relationship. The fact that there was an ocean (well, a small strip of North Sea) between them didn't help either.

This was not the end of their interations, however. They remained (mostly) friends, and their talk about sex and kink continued, even when Girl had relationships with other boys.
Despite the distance, they met up several times. The first time, very early in their relationship, they met up for a day in a park in Londinium (current day London). They spent the afternoon hand in hand. Even that simple, soft gesture made something stir in Boy's loins.

They met up two more times. In their next meeting, Girl had a birthday present for Boy... a leather bracelet, studded with silver letters that spelled SLAVE. Boy wore it all weekend, even when they went to a summer festival in a London park to see some Daft Punks. After the festival, Girl handcuffed Boy and fell asleep. Boy couldn't be happier.
In their last meeting, a year later, Boy realised his feelings for Girl had all but vanished. He still had kinky fun with her, mostly as a dom, playing with her body, whipping her tits, pussy and ass, and making her cum. But it was done with very little feeling, almost as an obligation towards her. Maybe Boy knew that this was their last meeting,  and this was his way of giving her a parting gift?

Soon after, Girl met a man, and after a few years they got married, and at present day have a child. Boy found out all of this through the Book of Faces, since Girl broke off all direct communications with him. Boy understands, in a way, thinking she might be afraid of her own feelings but hoping she doesn't consider their time together as nothing more than a bad memory. Girl was Boy's first, in both sex and kink, and despite the problems they had, he still considers the time they had as something special and precious. Boy, being a sentimental fool at times, or maybe just a childish goof,  is sometimes still upset she hasn't set him free as a slave, and therefor still feels she owns him. Even though she probably doesn't even think of him anymore, and it was all just words to her.

She lived happily ever after it seems...and Boy... grew up to be...(wait for it...)

Yes, your very own Rauber!


 Everything I said really  happened (and more, but I wanted to keep it fairly short). I wonder if she would actually enjoy reading my blog...she was very aware of my bi side and always teased me about finding me a boyfriend (and, at some point we actually had cyber with a mutual (fairly vanilla) friend - one I still talk to occassionaly on twitter, him and a girl I met on the same chat as Girl are actually the only people I still talk to from my early internet days (around 2002), but that as an aside heh). Not sure she's still as kinky now as she was then though, I haven't spoken to her in about 4 years.

A funny fact I was reminded of this morning is that my first 'secret' blog actually started with me complaining about her mood swings and occassional weird behavior (I'm sure she lied about some things just to get more attention - teen behavior eh), and it only later became a kinky blog. Then I had another kinky blog on livejournal (because I forgot the password of the first one), before finally ending up here. And to be fair this blog only really started about 2 years ago, with my first BDSM session. But really, everything kinky started with Girl.
Oh, she was also the first person I ever told about my chastity devices kink, she accepted it, though we never really had any fun with it in any of our meets.

So, a lot has changed in 10 years...or maybe not that much?

blog talk

I get most of my blog traffic from links on other blogs. You can see my own blog list on your left side (scroll down a bit - and don't be afraid to ask me a question on formspring now that you're watching that part of my blog!), but I'm going to do an extra special mention of the blogs that I get the most traffic from:

http://www.metalbondnyc.com - I think he only recently added me to his very long list  of interesting bondage sites and blogs, but I still got quite a bit of traffic from that. Anyway - great site to follow, great variety of topics, something for everyone really. 

http://badgroveboy.com/ - I think I mentioned this blog many times already, but this is really one of my favourite blogs... only downside is that the boy doesn't update enough :P
http://lockedndenied.blogspot.com/ - I get a lot of traffic from this blog as well; I hope those visitors aren't too disappointed since I hardly talk about chastity anymore...
http://bondageforthebigman.blogspot.com - Great blog if you like chubby guys in bondage, a mix of vids/pics from the 'net and personal experiences.
So if you don't follow these yet, do it now!

Anyway, since I'm getting many new visitors and followers, maybe I should explain a few things about my blog. It's a personal blog, which means I talk about my own experiences, wishes, turn-ons etc. It also means I'm not shying away from talking about some negative experiences and feelings. Like I said before, I'm not a porn blog, but a real-life blog, and bad things happen. I think the BDSM community as a whole tends to see itself through rose-coloured glasses, and people new to it might think everything is easy and fun and bad stuff can never happen. I hope my blog is fairly balanced in that regard. It also means my blog is more boring than 99% of kink blogs out there, but so be it.
 It's also not meant to be a manual for other people or a "this is how it should be" guide to BDSM, just my own experiences and other personal stuff. For example, when I write down what happened in a BDSM session, I really write that for myself, so I won't forget basically. I like reading old session entries, and old entries in general really, sometimes it's a nice memory, other times less nice, but for me it's good that I've written them down. If people enjoy reading them and if I can inspire someone with it, that's nice, but not my main goal at all.

I read quite a few kinky blogs, and often I think "oh that's interesting, I should comment, or write about it in my own blog". But, of course, I rarely do. I know I read a few interesting entries a week or two ago, but I forgot which blogs, and I'm too lazy to find out, sorry :) But there are two recent entries I want to talk about.

First is an entry on Master Dream's Precious Treasure. I'll let you read it, but basically it's about people who aren't owned/collared/whatever think they have nothing interesting to say. I disagree with that as well. They shouldn't feel intimidated by more experienced people, and like MDPT says, they have their own dreams and aspirations, and it might not be a bad thing to write that all down. The fact that you're inexperienced doesn't mean you have nothing to say.
(Side note: I know most of my readers are gay males, but MDPT really is an interesting blog to follow, regardless of your gender and sexual preferences)

Secondly, my Boss (...or is he? :P) made an entry about him now being owned by a younger guy. We talked about this, and he seems to be very insecure about the age difference (which admittedly is pretty big). I think it can work, and personally I feel the distance is a bigger problem than the age difference.

I have a few things to say about this in general though (yes, I'm going to start ranting). In my experience, there are a lot of unwritten rules in the BDSM world. One of those is that older should always dominate younger. While I think this is more or less natural, as in, the older guy teaches the young guy, akin to pederasty in ancient Greece, I find that imposing it as a rule to be limited, old-fashioned and maybe even degrading for younger guys. Just because you're older doesn't mean you're better at something. Just because you're young doesn't mean you can't be a dom. I get the impression younger doms don't get taken seriously by some of the less flexible and less open-minded people.
A lot of people really have that limited "this is what BDSM is supposed to be like and nothing else" mindset, which upsets me. They are limiting themselves to new experiences and setting a bad example for others. Sure, everyone has his or her own idea of what BDSM should be for them personally, but they shouldn't apply their own vision onto others. Everyone's different. But I do think there should only be one basic, general rule, and that's that everything must happen safe, sane and consensual. All the rest is up to personal preferences, and I think it's wrong to force anything other than that onto people.
This is why I try not to judge other people and their BDSM relationship... it's their thing, as long as they enjoy it, who am I to judge them? I'm happy there are plenty of non-judgmental people around, but really, sometimes it can annoy me greatly.

That'll be enough for today :) 

Weekend

I had an interesting weekend! I learned some new things in the session on Friday, and actually felt quite submissive for the rest of the weekend. And not normal submissive but a kind of slutty submissiveness that doesn't happen a lot (to put it bluntly: I wanted to suck cock SO BAD). I even had some naughty thoughts on a Sunday morning walk through the dunes... most of the dunes are fenced off since it became protected nature stuff, but sometimes there are holes in the fences you can go through, and the shrubbery is pretty dense so no-one would see you if you wanted to have some naughty adventures in the open air... hehe. In my case, I imagined TSkin being there, and me taking him through a hole in the fence to a quiet spot, where I would suck his cock...  Thinking that made me hard while walking :)

I've been talking to my little bro a lot this weekend, and no matter what we talk about, he definitely triggers my dom side. And my daddy side as well I guess. Sometimes I want to hug him, other times I want to put him over my knee and spank him hard. Anyway, it looks like he'll be able to realise one of his dreams shortly, but I'll let him talk about that in his blog.

I was talking to both TSkin and my little bro Sunday afternoon. TSkin was in a submissive mood, and talking to my little bro slowly put me in a more dominant mood, so we had some fun talking about what I would do to TSkin as a dom/handler. And I imagined having both at my feet, both of them as my toys :) Some of my ideas were pretty nice I think. Like, TSkin is a much more experienced sub, so I would let him demonstrate  how to do things like rimming me and sucking my cock in the way I like it, and then it would be the boy's turn. And of course I could do contests between them, and reward the winner and punish the loser. And spankings for everyone! My playtime on Friday confirmed it again: I really, really, really love spanking guys. Really.

Obviously the likeliness of having the two together is pretty low, but it was a fun thought. My boy was already off to bed, otherwise I would've involved him more in this. Anyway, it was fun talking with TSkin about his sub side, and especially his mutt side as well, I imagined some more things that we could do next time we meet. He is going to do a lot of sniffing and licking! And a whole lot more...

Oh, and a funny fact: earlier this week, I had a dream in which us three arranged to meet up, even rented a place, but due to unforeseen circumstances out of our control (some realistic stuff but also some weird stuff that only happens in dreams) we were never actually in the same room at the same time. So it was actually a very frustrating dream... it's been ages since I actually had a fun kinky dream. Maybe because I'm already doing enough fun kinky stuff while I'm awake heh.

Next update: some blog talk and random rambling.