video: getting caned by Sir J

Yes, finally! :)
4 strokes of the cane for bringing along 4 pieces of underwear when Sir J strictly forbade me of bringing along any.


So what do you think? Did he go easy on me? :)

Staying with Sir J - final thoughts

A few more random thoughts and then I'll shut up about it, I swear!

I've had a bad couple of days since I came back from London, only now I'm starting to feel better. Withdrawal symptoms :) I can have this after a good session, but now I had a great 9-day session, so obviously the 'downtime' as I call it was a lot longer. Worth it, of course.

I've been saying a lot of positive things, but I've had some bad moments - even though they never lasted long, and they all had to do with my own mindset rather than anything Sir J did.
In the first couple of days, I sometimes woke up thinking "What am I doing here? I'm in the House of Pain, getting beaten and humiliated - is this what I want?" But then I touched the chain around my neck, and felt the chastity device, thinking about Sir J calling me a "good boy"... yeah, this is what I want.

I actually didn't really enjoy my daily before-bed-beating at first, but after a couple of days I wanted it, and in the last few days I was looking forward to it so much that it was one of the first things on my mind when I woke up. "It's only morning? Aww, I wish it was bedtime already so I can get my beating!"
I think it was a very good idea to have some daily rituals like that. Boys need some structure in their life :)

Another thing that took me some time to get used to was H using me. He is a nice guy and very submissive to Sir J, so when he started to dom me, I was a bit confused, and I must admit for a microsecond I thought he was 'mean' to me because he didn't like me. Very silly of me. The second time he used me, I really enjoyed it (and it was so cute when he called me 'good boy' afterwards haha). He has 'threatened' to fuck me as well, and IF I get invited again, I'm not sure if I'll put up much resistance...

One of the many things I tried for the first time was being pissed on. For me, it's easily one of the most humiliating and degrading things I can think of, so I wasn't sure if I would like it. Well, the verdict (for now) is: I definitely didn't hate it, but I also didn't love it. I would do it again, but it's not something I would put on my wishlist for a good session. Psychologically, it's something very powerful, and it worked with Sir J and H (and I definitely would like to do it again with them), but I'm not sure it would work with a random dom.

About the whole 'straight' thing: I did a long talk about my sexuality last month, so I'm not going to repeat everything here. I'm obviously not straight, but I'm also not gay in the 'tradtional' sense, I think I'm more asexual than either of those (and 'biromantic', for what that's worth). The 'straight' fantasy that we kept up was actually a good way of dealing with this. Of course I don't get hard when I see two guys fucking...I'm straight!! Yeah, it's an easy excuse of sorts. Still, we had fun with it. Well, I had fun saying "I'm not doing that...I'm straight!" every so often.

Okay, that's all I think.

Staying with Sir J - some more thoughts

I still have a lot to say about my time with Sir J, probably too much to cram it all in one entry, so this will probably be part 1 of...well at least 2.

Going out:
On Thursday, we went to Central Station for the Spankz evening. The event on its own is quite good, the basement is fairly clean and it has a good atmosphere. I liked that there was a screen that showed spanking videos.
As far as play was concerned, Sir J gave me a over-the-knee spanking as a warm up. After that he gave the boy he already played with (let's call him Rick) a similar spanking, with me on my knees right next to them. Rick is a nice guy and I enjoyed watching him suffer (and he suffered two more times under Sir J's hands that evening).
Later he used rope to attach my wrists to hooks in the (low) ceiling, and gave me a good beating. The hardest part wasn't really the pain from the beating (it was pretty hard, but nothing I couldn't handle), but the 'bullying' part at the end of the session. He slapped me all over my body (including my face), pushed me around, etc. It was not hard to take physically, but it was hard mentally. In a way, it made me angry...but I knew it was part of the scene, and that I wasn't really in danger or anything. I can't really say I enjoyed it, but it was interesting.    If it was just a random master doing this, I probably would've used my safeword though, this only worked for me because it was with Sir J and I trusted him.

Now, what annoyed me most about the club were the people interfering with our game. In my case it wasn't so bad (even though Sir J had to really shoo off someone at some point), but poor Rick was being annoyed by others left, right and center. I think it actually annoyed me more than it annoyed them. I just hated to see their game interrupted. Most people did ask if they could have a feel or whatever, but some didn't, and that was just rude and bad club etiquette. It just really, really, really annoyed me.
Still, I would go back again with Sir J if he wanted me too.


Headgear:
Something I haven't talked about much in my daily entries is the headgear I got to wear. I don't think hoods, masks etc. will ever be a fetish of mine, but that doesn't mean I object to wearing them. The head harness/muzzle (you can see it on the pics) was generally comfortable enough to wear for a decent amount of time, but during the mummification session it did scrape some skin off my nose - nothing bad of course, and I only noticed it afterwards. I think it had something to do with opening and closing my mouth when I was licking and sucking things, the hood moved up and down a bit.
I spent some time in a leather hood, which went fine until I started sweating a lot and just wanted out.
I got to wear a gasmask as well, which was quite a unique experience. Very otherworldly, very...alien. In my opinion. It's like you're cut off from the real world, or like you're underwater or something. I want to try this again at some point, I definitely like the weirdness of it :)


Mummification:
I already said plenty of times I really liked this, but I still have a story to share. Both times I was mummified and left alone, I drifted off to...some other place, that place between being awake and dreaming, when you're still aware of yourself, but you're already dreaming. Not being able to see or hear anything helped with this of course. The first time I was mummified, the 'dream' was that I was in a train station, but still aware of being mummified. I looked around, and saw if I could ask anyone to cut me out of the plastic wrap. After looking at some people I decided to ask this old lady with a friendly face. I asked her if she could free me, so I could go to... wait, where am I supposed to go? Wait, I'm not in a train station, I'm on Sir J's bed! And that's how I came back to reality.

The second time I was mummified, something similar happened, although I can't remember the exact dream. It was related to a dream I had the night before, but again I was now aware of being mummified in the dream.
I wonder if other people have similar experiences... also, I think hypnotism or listening to hypnotic mp3s would be great during a mummification sesson.


Pup play:
It was something that I thought I would like, but, just like with mummification, it exceeded my expectations. It's just an entirely different dynamic compared to 'normal' BDSM play in my opinion. And as a pup, it allows both creativity and instinctiveness to create your own pup persona. Before the session, I never thought "hey, as a pup, I should be doing this, and that!", I decided I should just go along with whatever Sir J came up with, but in a pup mindset. Like, Sir J gave me underwear to play with, and I decided to hold on to it as much as I could - even though we played fetch with it as well. And of course he did that annoying thing where he pretended to throw it away, but still held it in his hand, and I got confused because I couldn't find it. Humans can be so annoying, grr.
Puppy play also relaxed me a great deal - so much that I actually fell asleep on two different occassions. So I was a lazy pup...but playful as well, and even though I was mostly in my own little headspace and hardly paid attention to what they were saying (apart from when Sir J was teaching me how to sit and 'shake hands'), I'm pretty sure they enjoyed me as a pup.
So yeah, it's definitely something I want to explore more.

More in a next update!

Staying with Sir J - the pictures

It's what all you perverts have been waiting for, right?

Love this pic - Sir J asserting his dominance over me on day 1. Great pic, no?

This was my first taste of the leather strap...left some beautiful marks as you can see. Having very white and very sensitive skin can make for some good cp pictures...

...like this one. Yes, it's the imprint of a hand. Sir J's hand. No trickery. This is real. He gave me one hard slap and that was the result.

Sir J recons this should be my blog's main pic...he took it while I was writing an entry on his laptop.

I spent a whole lot of time doing this...and apart from the mummification scenes, I think it was my favourite thing to do. On my knees, sniffing Sir J's underwear and using my nose to rub over his cock and balls...very relaxing, almost hypnotic in a way. Really loved being in that position.

All pictures from my first mummification scene. Like I said in the entry of that day (day 4), it made me very very horny and I did a lot of sniffing, sucking and licking. My cock got out and got teased for the first time in 10 days, you can see the result in the last pic. It does make it seems a lot bigger than it actually is though :)

The result of 2 beatings (on seperate days).

On the last day, I got four strokes of the cane for the four pieces of underwear I brought along. You can see the bruises from previous "abuse" as well - again I have to say it looks way worse than it actually felt.

Pics from the mummification scene on the last day. Love all the stuff Sir J wrote on me - it's a big turn-on for me to see me like this. Some things have stories behind them ("ex-straight" is a good one) and stuff he wrote around my dick is just great. "Purely ornamental - useless - to be locked up at all times" So true!! Heh.

Teasing Thomas - I already had my clothes on and was ready to go back home, but couldn't resist playing with him a bit. Such a lovely boy.

That's all I'm going to share here!

Edit: all credit for the pics goes to Sir J of course. You can always talk to him on recon (username: joept).

Edit 2: there are some pics from the session with Master I, but I don't have them, don't know when I'll have them, and I don't know if I'll be allowed to share them!

Staying with Sir J, day 9

I'm home now, safe from any evil masters and their equally evil boyfriends!! (and trying to adjust to an azerty keyboard again, ugh)

Back to what happened this morning and afternoon.
When I woke up I was feeling happy and quite submissive, thanks to that great session with Master I and Sir J yesterday. This was our last day and we had a few things to do. Firstly, my punishment for bringing along underwear. Sir J had already told me earlier that I would get four strokes of the cane, for the four pieces of underwear I brought along. I was not looking forward to that, so I was very tense. And it did hurt, but I realised it could've been a lot worse. I had the feeling the strokes were more to correct me rather than really punish me. I know that if I bring along underwear next time he'll hit me much harder.

Then time for a little test. "If you can take the metal plug, you can take my cock". The metal plug has a big head, but a slim body, in any case, it would be the widest thing I would ever get in my hole. If I could get it in. Sir J told me to take my time. After a while it started hurting a bit, but I knew that I was close, so I tried to go on...and it finally went in!!! I was very proud of myself, I didn't think I could do it. Sir J made me walk around in it, and teased me by tapping his fingers on it amongst other things. I loved having it inside me, I was also let out of the cb2000 and was as hard as I could be.

Then it was time for another mummification session with plastic foil again. It was great, I was also blindfolded and wore noise-cancelling headphones, and had used underwear over my nose. I could also feel him write a lot of things on the plastic... After relaxing a bit (and getting strange dreams/images in my head - will talk about that in another update) Sir J started torturing me. Again with the pinwheel, and after a while he freed my cock and balls and rubbed Deep Heat on it. I think there's going to be a video on xtube of that soon! (...it's not that spectacular though heh.)

But when he asked me again if I was ready to have his cock in me...I said no. I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but we already agreed that he wouldn't really fuck me - he would lie down, and I would sit on top of him, and slide down on his dick, so I could decide how much I would take. And he did allow me to say no. But I still got scared and decided to say no - for no real reason as I did realise I would be safe and there would be no pressure.
Later he asked me to masturbate. Again I said no. He beat me for being disobedient - and rightly so - but I let my insecurities and shyness get the better of me again. I felt very very bad about it (still do), Sir J wasn't to blame for anything and I really did feel like I let him down, and that I was a bad boy and a failure. I was being very submissive to him up until that point, but... I suppose I got very self-aware again and shy and just closed down completely. Still feel very bad about it.

Luckily for me, I guess, there was a distraction at the door - one of Sir J's boys, Thomas. Thomas is a nice young english boy, great body and great cock. Sir J fucked him while I watched - me and H joined in by sucking his nipples.
I left the room to pack my bags and take a shower, and when I got back Thomas was hooded and tied up. I cannot resist teasing a boy when he's tied up, so I had some fun with him. Thomas can take Deep Heat on his balls and cock like a champ, but I discovered his weakness: ticklish feet! I also had fun just running my hands over his body, playing with his nipples, watching his cock twitch and leak pre-cum like crazy... Yes, a very nice boy, and I wish I had more time to tease him but I really had to go and catch my train home.

I was in such a rush to get out, that I forgot I still had a locked chain around my neck!! I was already a block away when I realised I still had it on. I was that used to it I guess - I wonder what they would've said at the Eurostar security check if I told them I couldn't remove it. Not something I wanted to find out actually... in any case, I made it home safely.

So, that was the end of my London adventure with Sir J! Apart from that one moment of weakness today, I had a great time and I hope I can stay with him and his boyfriend again this summer. I will do another update, with more talk about what I liked (a lot) and didn't like (not a lot), and some things I forgot to mention in my daily entries.
Also, I'm going to do a separate update with some pics we took, there are quite a lot I want to share, and also talk about them a bit.
Will probably do these updates this weekend!

Staying with Sir J, day 8

2 big events today:

1. Puppy play. Only for a couple of hours, but that was enough for me. I thought it was pretty fun, it allowed me to be very playful...even though I spent most of my time lying down. I even fell asleep (and snored) when I was under the table at Sir J's feet. Also had a doggy bath (hated it of course!), and had my meal on the floor. That was embarrassing/degrading as I had food all over my face and and I had a runny nose as well - but as a puppy I obviously couldn't use a tissue!
So I want to do it again, but I don't think for a long period of time to be honest.

2. Visit to Master I. I was actually very nervous for this, and my nervousness didn't really go away for most of the session. I was mainly there as a bondage model; Sir J had to show Master I his bondage techniques. Both of them bullied and teased me a lot though - Master I liked my sensitive nipples and loved hurting my balls (my least favourite place to get hurt). And my feet. He was a big bully really hehehe. Not going to go into detail of all that happened (partly because I'm tired, partly because I want Sir J to start his own blog, so he can talk about stuff like this). For me though, the best part was at the end: I begged Master I to give me a spanking, after I already got a good beating. It was a really really good spanking, not that hard at first but with a good increase of intensity. It made it easier to 'let go', you know what I mean? To just surrender. I always have real trouble letting go in a session, so Master I is a really good master to get me to that point on a first session, especially since I was so nervous. This session was hard for me mentally, but I was very happy afterwards, and I would love to go back again.

Tomorrow is my last day! :( So I'll probably update when I get home. And then do another update about my stay with Sir J. Oh, and show a couple of pictures.

Staying with Sir J, day 7

Horrible start of the day - Sir J unloaded his morning piss on me, and later gave me a serious beating with both the leather strap and a whip. I found it very hard to take :( The things a boy has to suffer through before being called "good boy"...

Did some touristy things while Sir J was at work. At least this time he allowed me to go out wearing underwear! White briefs I brought along - he wore them and came in them that morning. When I put them on they were still a bit sticky...and very much smelling of his cum.
So, a locked chain around my neck, chastity device, and cum-stained underwear...I wonder how many other tourists in London were like that today.

Evening was fairly quiet. Oh, apart from H (Sir J's boyfriend) having a bit of fun with me. He played with my nipples, I had to suck his dick, then rim him a bit. Sucked his nipples until he was about to cum, then he pushed me down and told me to hold his cum in my mouth, show it to him, and then swallow it. H is an angel, but when he's horny he can be very devious as well!!

Obviouly had my before-bed-beating with the leather strap as well, and a bit of teasing. We talked about my last two days (nooo!!), which will include some puppy play, a visit to an experienced bondage master, and another mummification session. So much to do, so little time. I wonder if we'll have time for me to cum... Tomorrow will be my 14th day in chastity, I'm very used to it now, and strangely enough I don't really care about cumming anymore. It's fun being teased and not being able to do anything about it.

Off to bed now - I have to take the leather strap with me. Nasty thing, I'll probably have nightmares about it.

Staying with Sir J, day 6

Not much to say today. We all got out of bed kind of late. I survived sleeping in handcuffs. I discovered I could slip out of them and showed Sir J - he wasn't pleased. What can I say, when it comes to handcuffs I'm a real Houdini!! ...Okay maybe not. Still thought I should show him instead of not mentioning it at all - an honest boy is a good boy, right?

Met up with a (vanilla) friend in the afternoon. Weather was awful, we still went for a walk and talked a bit. I was honestly feeling a bit down today, so I was probably even more quiet than usual. Oh well. I told him I'm horribly boring when he said he wanted to meet up with me, so he was prepared.

In the evening we all felt a bit tired - I already had a nap in the early evening but felt even more tired afterwards. Watched some tv until Sir J came home. Had some food, relaxed a bit, and Sir J played with me for a bit before going to bed, teasing me about getting fucked by him. Still in two minds about this to be honest, but Sir J knows and respects this. Got my daily before-bed-beating, still hurts but it feels good a couple of minutes later. My arse is still bruised from yesterday's beating...

Tomorrow will be another fairly boring day, will probably do the British Museum and maybe some other touristy things if I have the time and energy. Sir J is working late so play will be limited again.

Staying with Sir J, day 5

Sir J had the early shift again, so in the morning I went for a long walk.

In the afternoon, I had to film and take pics of Sir J fucking his boyfriend. Coming soon to xtube! Maybe. I think I did a pretty good job though!

Then had a nice session involving some nipple torture and deep heat on my balls and (still locked) penis... then I was hooded and handcuffed, left to rest in the sofa with a little egg vibrating inside me... The hood was pretty comfortable, but when we got more active again I started sweating a lot and didn't like being in it anymore.

In the evening I got a good beating...I had to show him the underwear I brought along, and I was being cheeky about it, so he gave my behind a good beating with the leather strap. There is some evidence on his camera...It was hard but I'm really starting to enjoy getting beaten by him, he really gets turned on by beating me. I'm always looking forward to my before-bed-beating. And having my head in his lap while he's using his laptop. And just relaxing in the sofa, watching tv. I know I complain about him being an evil master but I definitely like spending time with him :)

So no puppy play today, maybe in a few days. Off to bed now...He handcuffed me before he went to bed and he'll only unlock me in the morning! Evil...

Staying with Sir J, day 4

Sir J was at work in the morning and early afternoon...so his boyfriend H gave me some 'attention'. I had to work on his cock, he spanked me a bit, and then he took me to the bath to piss on me. Then we went upstairs, had to orally please him more, and worked on his nipples until he came. I had to sniff his cum...which means I had cum on my nose all day.

When Sir J got home, we did a bondage/mummification session. It went great! It was my first time being mummified and I definitely want to do this more. It can both be very relaxing but also very intense. For the most part I couldn't see anything, and he also used noise-cancelling headphones at the start of the session. I was very relaxed and almost fell asleep several times. Second part of the session had more teasing, some spanking, and a lot of sniffing body parts heh. He got me so horny I really started getting into licking and kissing his feet and sucking his toes.
After that we did another scene, mostly fantasy, but I was still treated very roughly! That's what I get for being a straight boy refusing to suck cock for his boss... Sir J also came by rubbing his cock against me, he came on my balls...yeah I had a lot of cum on me today.

We were planning on going to Sirs and boys in the Hoist, but Sir J came back from work kind of late and we didn't really feel like going out. And I already got a nice spanking in a club anyway, so I'm not sad about not going, especially because the mummification session was so great.

Tomorrow we're probably doing the puppy stuff, curious how that will turn out :)

Staying with Sir J, day 3

Today was a rest-day of sorts... I wasn't feeling very well when I woke up, and Sir J said he was pretty tired...and so was I after what happened yesterday.

I felt better after an hour or two, and went with H (Sir J´s boy) into town to see that Passion of Jesus thing at Trafalgar Square. It was a pretty good show, the guy who played Jesus was really good, and there were 2 hot boys being crusified as well at the end. But we had to sit down 2 hours, on hard stone, so that was pretty uncomfortable. Jesus wasn't the only one suffering!! Christianity and in particular catholicism has, in my opinion, a sort of "if you suffer you're a good person" attitude. Very BDSM in my opinion.
Could say more but this blog isn't called "rauber's musings on christianity and other religions"!

I went back to Sir J's house right after that. Had some fun in his bed...ended up plugged, and I've been wearing it all evening.

Later on, while he was watching tv, I was on the floor at his feet, which put me in a very submissive mood. Loved being in that position though. Sniffing his feet... that really feeds my slave side.

He also gave me a preview of what it would be like being fucked by him. Actually, one of the first things he did after I arrived here was him showing me how he fucked his boyfriend, and making his boyfriend tell me how good it feels. We've been talking about me getting fucked by him - which would be the first time ever for me - and also the reason why I'm getting all this anal training. It might not happen this week, but it is one our goals.

One thing I haven't mentioned yet is that I get a daily beating with the leather strap just before bed. Eight lashes. Today's one was very very hard to take...if I didn't know I would get 8 lashes, I probably would've used my safeword after 2 or 3 lashes. But then afterwards he tells me how much I'm turning him on getting a beating like that, and that I know it's for my own good... so what can a boy do, other than being grateful for the beating? And it only hurts for a couple of minutes after all.

But apart from the beatings, Sir J is a perfect host. He even feeds me too much really...he's like the cliche Italian mama hahaha. Good thing he doesn't read this (well, he said he wouldn't until the last day) otherwise I probably would've gotten a beating for writing this :)

I'm actually due for a good beating for not trusting him. He told me not to pack any underwear at all. Of course I did, as a plan B, thinking he'll get bored of me and kick me out of the house. He told me I hurt his feelings doing that, which I can understand, so the beating is well-deserved.

That's it for today!

Staying with Sir J, day 2

It was quite a busy day, and I'm dead tired!

Two big things happened today:

1) long bondage/teasing session, which made me cry at some point. Still not sure why this happened, but I might talk more about it when I'm less tired. But it wasn't because he hurt me too much or anything, it was just...very intense, and I probably needed to let go of some stress, doubts etc... and I'm pretty sure it had also something to do with his teasing, he got me super-horny, but kept saying I'm not going to cum for another 7 days. I'm simplifying it a bit now, the physical and mental teasing went quite far, so it definitely had something to do with me breaking down.
 Sir J was very understanding. I didn't actually didn't feel embarrassed to just let go. More proof that I feel very safe with him. He hurts me but I love him for it.

2) spanking session in Central Station. Had never been spanked/whipped like this, very intense. My arse has never hurt like this either heh. And the first time I got spanked with an audience. An audience of hard-ons.
Also met with a very nice boy who knew Sir J.  He could take a lot, especially on his balls, was sort of jealous of him (but then he told me he was jealous of me for taking Sir J's beating so well heh )
To be fair, it hasn't changed my opinion on going to clubs - it's really not my thing at all. This time it was fun because I got a really intense beating, and I love watching Sir J play with that other boy - but apart from that...no, not my thing at all.

Also had my nipples worked on a lot today, and Sir J keeps annoying me with the vibrating egg. We walked around the high street with something vibrating inside me :(

So yeah, you should all feel really sorry for me.

Staying with Sir J, day 1

I´m with Sir J and his boyfriend in London now, and I´m safe, no need to send out rescue parties or anything!!

I already got a beating (he took pictures of the result, not sure when I can upload them), and he´s found out I have very sensitive nipples... but I also got a lot of hugs, and I honestly feel very safe here. I have a locked chain around my neck, and it feels great.
We already had a few good laughs as well...

I could write a lot more, but all I need to say about today is that I´m naked, safe and very happy now!

'Study trip' to London

Tomorrow I'm leaving for London, to spend a week with Sir J. Am I excited? Hell yes. Am I nervous? Hell yes. It's twice as much stress for me than usual - stress about the trip, and stress about meeting new people. The last kind of stress is always the worst for me, but I know it's going to be worth it. And I guess also the stress of not being a disappointment to him :( Sir J will beat me when he'll read that part, but I can't help feeling that way.

Some of the things we've planned:
- me being a pup for 24h
- session with a bondage master
- "boys and sirs" afternoon in the Hoist on Saturday (come say hi if you're in the neighbourhood heh)

I've also spent the last week in chastity, and already went to all the stages I talked about in one of my very early entries. Two days ago, I felt stupid and silly for wearing the cb2000, and also a bit angry at myself and Sir J for making me do this. Yesterday, I was in a very defiant mood, and was quite cheeky with Sir J. Today, I'm okay with wearing the device, but I'm also not horny at all. It could also have something to do with travel planning and stress, but these past couple of days felt very familiar emotionally. The usual chastity cycle. It's around day 7 that I start leaking cum after I piss, but I haven't noticed it today. Maybe tomorrow...

Anyway, Sir J has suggested (okay, ordered) to make a blog entry every day when I'm with him...which will be kind of hard on pup day, but still :) I'm trying to make him do his own blog or at least write a few words on my blog under his name. But he's not convinced yet.

Sadly I'm also not in perfect health - had a cold and a fever this weekend, I was feeling much better yesterday but today my pretty-much-chronic sinus infection played up again. Not fun, and it usually takes a few days (at least) before the annoying pain goes away. I hope it won't effect our play much.

So I'll try making an entry tomorrow evening to say that I arrived safely and that I'm still alive. If I don't update...call the police :)