April 15, 2013

Looking back...

Around this time last year, I was walking in a quiet street in the greater London area, and knocked on the door of a house I've never been to. A man, whose face I recognised from pictures on the internet, let me in. He said he was happy I made it, told me that I'll be safe and I can stop any scene when I want to. Then when his boyfriend came out of the shower, he started fucking him right in front of me. Later, he made me strip, and inspected my body, the way a slave would be inspected when he's sold on the slave market. A chain was locked around my neck, I was prohibited to wear any clothes inside (other than a too-large jumpsuit), and got a beaten with a tawse.

And that was my first evening. I had 7 more to go.

What did I get myself into?

Well, looking back at it a year later, I would say something very special. Look, I'm not going to say it was all flawless and perfect and whatnot - it wasn't. My personality doesn't allow that hehe. But for the most part, it was great, even in that first week I learned a lot more about myself and what I like in the BDSM world than I did in my first year of "dating". I already wrote a few things about this, but some doms are enablers who allow the sub to grow at their own pace and from their inner strength, rather than forcing them in a certain direction. I was lucky to find someone like this. Oh of course I got beaten and humiliated, and got my limits stretched, but never so much as to make me feel uncomfortable.

As our friendship grew deeper, so did my submission to him. It became easier to ignore my (self-)doubts and fears (mostly thinking I'll be a disappointment to him), and just surrender to him, physically and mentally. Especially during my last two visits, I found it much easier to let go and submit, and at least from my part, that made our play and dynamic much more fun as well. For example, I love the slave protocols I'm subjected to, last time I was there I really loved drying him off as he came out of the shower and help him get dressed... it's not something that's extremely kinky or whatever, but it's immensely satisfying for me to serve him like that. Something like this wouldn't be fun for me if he wasn't my friend and Master.

My 5 (so far!) visits left me with a lot of memories; some good, some funny, some painful. The good thing (for interested readers) is that I shared quite a few of them on this blog! I won't link to any individual entries, but most of my April entries are about my first stay (scroll down until you see day 1 and then read your way up), and you can check out the London label as well.

I'll leave you with some pics of my behind from 4 different stays, in chronological order so you can see the "evolution":

(right after my caning on the last day of my April 2012 visit)

(a day after coming home from my visit in July 2012)

(after a caning, and right before going to Shrek the musical hahaha - February 2013)

(two beatings in one evening - first from TSkinboot at the club, then a hard caning from Sir when I got back - and yes it hurt! - March 2013)

So as you can see, it got gradually worse/better depending on your point of view!!
Oh, and  a bonus picture, as I know Sir likes this one a lot:

(yes that's his hand imprint!)

April 5, 2013

The reluctant fag

Since the 21st of January, I was under orders from Sir to have a dildo inside me every time I masturbated. This wasn't very easy for me; I'm not that much into anal, but as I wanted to be a good boy to him, I obeyed.  Of course it would be easy to have a "straight" wank and not tell him about it, but that's not how I do things. I was tempted at times, but my submission and loyalty to Sir is more important than a quick wank.
In general I had less wanks than I normally have - about one every three or four days. I was used to having lazy wanks while watching porn or whatever, but now I had to get out the dildo and the lube, and obviously clean everything I used afterwards - such a chore hehe.

Exactly two months later, on a Thursday morning, I told him I had a dildo wank but that I was still feeling horny and very submissive. "You need four more of those today" he replied. He even told me what I should fantasise about when having those wanks. I managed to do 3 more that day, and both my cock and arse felt violated. This was certainly a new record, with the wank from the night before I had 5 wanks in 24 hours - previous record was 3. Not sure if I can be proud of this record hehe. Next wank I had was about a week later - I was that burned out.

I was told I had to keep up my dildo-workout until Easter (this was Sir's idea of Lent for me!), so I was looking forward to having "free" and lazy wanks again. Well I had my celebratory free Easter wank, and another quick and easy wank the day after... but the day after that, I felt like having another dildo wank. I had a very nice fantasy, which involved me being humiliated and begging Sir to fuck me... it was really nice, and cumming was very satisfactory.

I told Sir about this, and he ordered me to write an entry about this. About how I was offered freedom, but not wanting that freedom. About how the best way for a boy to cum is with something up his arse. About how I enjoy anal play more than I'd like to admit. About how this experience has turned me into a faggot bitch :( How HE turned me into a faggot bitch.

This is rather humiliating for me to admit - I still have a straight side fighting all this - but ultimately that doesn't matter much, firstly because I was ordered to write about this, and secondly because it's the truth. Being a good boy (or trying to be!) those two things are very important. Oh, and thirdly, writing this made me hard, so it's not all that bad I suppose! :)

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