September 30, 2012

session with MasterP: teasing tag team

I got asked by MasterP for another long bondage session. The night before I heard Tallsub would be there as well, so I was looking forward to it.

First part of the session was mostly spent being the assistant to MasterP and teasing and playing with Tallsub. It was fun discovering new weak spots while still exploiting the old ones. Unlike last time (when he came before I got there, so his sex drive then was pretty low), he was definitely 'in heat' and it was fun teasing his cock, balls and other sensitive areas that made his cock twitch and grow. He was tied up, on and around the bed in different positions. I liked seeing him on his back, blindfolded, gagged and all strapped up, but the position I found him in first (on his knees, leaning over the bed, legs apart for easy access!) was also very nice.

At one point he asked for some anal play, and after being fingered by MasterP he ended up with a nice toy in his ass (a glass dildo with beads). It was fun playing with that as well to see his reaction, like slowly moving it around a little, and tapping on it softly but repeatedly, so it 'vibrates' in a way. He liked that! MasterP, using some strings and rope, made a nice package of his cock and balls as well. Really pretty, I should've taking a picture of it but didn't think of it at the time.
He got pretty close to cumming as well, I almost told Master P off because it really looked like he was going to cum, and it was a couple of hours too early for that! But he knows his sub's body language better than I do I guess, I didn't interfere and Tallsub didn't cum (yet).

After being tied back to back on his bed for a few moments, we helped Master P set up his wooden bondage frame (I talk about it in this entry). We were again tied back to back on it, in different positions. Tallsub was then allowed to orgasm, which he did, quite violently, we were back to back so I felt some of the energy running through his body when he came. Very interesting experience.
Then it was my turn to cum, but I couldn't, even if I was very very close. I told them I had a dry orgasm heh. It was a nice feeling anyway.

Tallsub needed a break, so he had a lie down on the bed, but after a while we were tickling and spanking him anyway hehe. Yes, we're evil, but he didn't mind, really. He's a great, 'easy' sub, curious about new experiences, and doesn't complain (much). He was actually quite naughty in a way, sort of challenging us at times, hmm.... Of course I like that, it gives me an excuse to tease, tickle and spank him harder!

He left shortly after, and I was tied to the frame again. Before the session I asked if I can be tied to a chair while wearing my gas mask, but now with the frame up, it would be a waste not to use it. I was also blindfolded over the mask, then tied, teased, spanked, whipped, clothespins on my nipples, the full treatment hehe. So no wonder I came after some (hard!) masturbation.

As always, we had a nice talk afterwards, and already planned a few things for a next session with Tallsub... he seems to like anal more and more and is curious about being fucked, and I have already volunteered for that job hehe. We'll see next time.

To be honest, I didn't have a 100% positive mindset at all times before, during and after this session - being tired and having a headache didn't help, and for some reason I was being very self-aware and those nasty "I don't deserve this" thoughts popped up as well. This was mostly an issue at the start of the session though, as it went on I really started having fun. In fact I'd say the most fun moment was teasing Tallsub after he came, he let us spank and whip him, we tickled him quite a bit, tried to pull out some of the hair around his ass, fun stuff like that. I was quite impressed with his attitude, normally guys after they cum are all "kthxbye", but he just underwent all that without too much complaining. Like I said, he's really a great sub and I would love to play with him many more times.
I really felt like being tied up myself though, so I have to admit early on in the session I thought "okay, teasing Tallsub is nice, but when will it by my turn!!!" I guess I wasn't really in a dom mood at first, that only really came at the end of the session.

But really, it was fun, I liked teasing Tallsub, I learned a few new techniques, and I obviously liked being in bondage myself, and I'm happy I finally got to use the gas mask in a session. I think the three of us have a good chemistry going, Tallsub seems to feel at ease with us, and that, for me, is a sign he trusts us and that we're doing something right.  So I'm sure there will be more sessions with the three of us :)

September 26, 2012

down time

So that was a bit crazy, three BDSM dates in one week, that's not my normal doing at all!! And nicely divided as well, one as sub, one as dom, and one as switch. It certainly left me a bit tired, but I have to say it increased my confidence when it comes to sex and BDSM. It opened up my mind to new possibilities as well. And old ones I forgot....maybe a topic for another blog entry :)

My desire to do anything kinky is pretty low right now. It's always with ups and downs, and I had a pretty big 'up' recently so it's normal for me that I'm now having some down time. Might have a date in a couple of days, I'll obviously post about it if it happens.

And as usual in that downtime, I think "okay, these short sessions are fun, but...I would like something more". I'm sure I've already written enough about what I'd like (in short: a lot). I think my stay with J spoiled me, and at the same time I think I'll be very lucky if I can find a local dom/friend/partner who is as versatile as him (not only when it comes to BDSM but in general as well). I could spend hours talking about that, but he reads this as well and I would just embarrass him with all my praise heh.
But seriously, it is annoying that the people I connect with the most are living in a different country. J, TSkin, my little bro in Malaysia... grr! I blame the internet. Nowadays it creates and solves more problems than alcohol ever did.

In other news...

Last week I went to a sports shop, casually looking for new gear. I found some straps that can be very useful  (I'm already imagining strapping someone to a chair, bed, and especially wrapping someone in a sleepsack before strapping him to the bed). Exploring the shop a bit more, I found some wetsuits on sale. They looked good and I could already imagine myself being tied up in one... but I still left the shop without buying one. I regretted that almost instantly, and went back to the shop the day afterwards to buy one (and even more straps heh).

The wetsuit fits for the most part, but I don't think I'll be able to zip it up entirely... I have a pretty small/short torso but fairly broad shoulders so I always have a problem with shirt sizes and such. If I get another wetsuit I'll  go for the larger size, but then it probably won't be as tight as this one.
I took some quick pics on the day I got it, but I don't find them interesting enough to share :)

Next update soon, if I don't have a date this week it'll be some talk about my blog and other random stuff.

September 14, 2012

session with Master P: switching

I've been busy this week haven't I? A bondage session on Monday, domming a sub myself for the first time on Tuesday, and now a session with Master P.

This would be the first time with another sub at Master P's place. As my long-time readers know, I don't always have good experiences with other subs, so I was a little bit anxious about it. But I still thought it was too good of an opportunity to miss, especially since Master P said I could have some fun with the sub myself.
Still, I arrived quite late at his house, partly because I didn't want to spend too much time with that other sub in case it didn't work out, and partly because I had trouble getting out of bed heh.

Once I was properly outfitted (naked, with blindfold), Master P came up with an interesting position. While the other guy (let's call him Tallsub - because he's tall and a sub!) was lying face down on the bed, I had to lie on top of him, while Master P tied our ankles and wrists together. Tallsub is a tall, big sub, so he had no problem with my weight. It became interesting when he started tickling our feet, Tallsub is also very ticklish and has a heavy reaction to it, so that made my body move as well. And the other way around of course.

We were also tied back to back, and while in that position Tallsub wanted to try my gasmask on (I brought it along especially for him - I didn't get to play with it myself!). Master P and him quickly found out it's not that easy to put it on haha, especially if you have a big head. I didn't see it but I heard quite a bit went wrong from their reactions. I told them to stop now, and let him try it on himself later on.

After playing a bit with Tallsub myself, including giving him a massage (a cock and balls massage haha), he was tied to a chair. Not that I could see it of course :( And I absolutely love chair bondage so I was jealous of him. After a while he was untied and un-blindfolded, and wanted to try the gasmask on again. He got it on better than before, but couldn't stay long in it because it was too tight for him. I guess he was very disappointed with that, but I talked with him about gasmasks and size and such, and maybe he'll get a the large size of this model .

About that time a third sub arrived. Master P was a bit embarrassed with the situation, he actually texted the third guy (let's call him Masosub - because he's masochistic and a sub!) to not come over because he already had his hands full, but Masosub must've missed that - or was just too horny. Anyway, he wasn't going to stay long, just wanted a quick fix I guess. Fine by me. At first both me and Tallsub watched them play, but both Master P and I could tell that Tallsub wasn't really into the harder play. I suggested that Master P plays with Tallsub a bit more, while I continue with Masosub. I spanked him, played with his nipples, cock and balls, and I quickly felt that I really didn't have to hold back, he really was a masochist. Meanwhile Master P had tied Tallsub in a spread eagle position on the bed, leaving him nicely exposed.

Master P and I switched sub several times. With Masosub I played hard, with Tallsub I had fun in other ways. I didn't hurt him, I just gave him a massage all over his body, with special attention to his cock, balls and perinium. The occassional quiet moan and deep sigh told me that he was really enjoying this.

While Master P tied Masosub to a chair and made him cum, I had other plans with Tallsub. I wanted to see if there were any other places where he was ticklish or at least sensitive, and I found them :) I switched between tickling his feet and his midriff and sides. Fairly softly and slowly at first, but I intensified it until he was struggling in his bounds. Which obviously gave me the opportunity for a "quiet down, slave!" reaction. Anyway, I stopped after that, didn't want to go too far. Meanwhile Masosub had already left the building.

Sadly that was about it, Master P untied Tallsub, but we still had a nice chat before he had to go. We all agreed that it was fun, and that at some point we should try to meet up and rent a BDSM space somewhere. After he left Master P and I talked same more, but he had to kick me out at some point as well :)

This was easily the best session I had this week for a variety of reasons. Tallsub is great, he is a relaxed, clever guy with a good sense of humour, I was surprised how easily I got along with him. I definitely want to see him more....sadly he has a significant other that cannot know about his BDSM side, which means meeting up with him again won't be easy.

Apart from meeting Tallsub, switching between the two subs was the most fun part for me. I played a bit harder with Masosub because I knew he could take it, and maybe I am more of a sadist than I thought, as I very much enjoyed watching him moan and squirm and struggle in his bounds. His behind was a very nice shade of red after we were through with him :)
But I enjoyed the soft play with Tallsub just as much, and maybe even more so. Running my hands over his body, softly kneading his cock and balls,... I could do that all day!

Now, the bad things heh. I wish the play was a bit longer but I only had myself to blame, because Master P and Tallsub had already played more than two hours by the time I got there. Tallsub had already cum in that time , the naughty boy! I really wanted to be in bondage more myself, but things turned out differently.
This was Tallsub's first session with another guy, and also his first session with two other guys...but Master P put himself in a bad situation here, Masosub didn't fit in with our play really. Tallsub was cool with it, he said, even though the harder play wasn't his thing. I don't know, it's still something that shouldn't have happened I think.

Still, for me personally it was a great session, I got to work on my dom side again, I got to meet a great guy who I want to play with more, and I'm sure Master P was quite happy with my ability to switch. So it was a very very good day :)

September 13, 2012

more thoughts on domming for the first time

Yes, after the fun entry, the boring entry!

First of all, in case it wasn't clear, I definitely had fun domming. I hope you'll allow me to be just a little bit proud of myself, for doing a session like that all by myself. Was it fun? Definitely. Was it perfect? Far from it, there's a lot of room for improvement, but I learned a lot.
I also want to thank everyone for the comments and suggestions, they're very helpful for me.
I'll talk first about the things I like the most, and then about the things I feel I could improve.

I loved the tickling. This wasn't scripted at all, I discovered his sensitivity almost by accident, but it became a big part of the session. When he was back home, I sent him a message asking him if there was anything in particular he enjoyed or didn't enjoy. He said he liked everything except the tickling. When I told him that was my favourite part, he sent me a frowny face, and then "you're the Master, so I'll submit to it anyway". See, he is a good slaveboy!
Tickling really is the best kind of torture you can give someone isn't it? It can be very intense but it doesn't leave any marks.

I loved spanking him as well. I only planned to spank him at the end of the session, but I couldn't resist spanking him very early on. I couldn't spank him too hard (his wife would ask questions...), but I tried to vary my spanking. I even used his ass as drums and played a little song on them hehe. That's something I'll definitely do more, maybe even put on a song and drum along with it. Something like A visit from Drum (Liars) maybe, it's one of my favourite songs (and Drum's not dead is one of my favourite albums) just because of how hypnotic and repetitive it is.

Now for the things that could be improved.
The start of the session was definitely too scripted, I was basically "playing" the dom instead of actually being one. I was also far too focused on pleasing the sub, instead of doing things I woud like - but as the session went along, I felt more free to do the things I want, which was tickling, teasing and spanking him more.
I was also very concerned for his general safety, both physical and mental, which is why I frequently asked him if he was okay. I should've just given him a safeword at the start of the session, and reminded him of it during the session, instead of what I did now. I'll keep this in mind for next time.

I've had a few comments that I was basically not being 'dom' enough, which is true. But that wasn't really what this session was about for me, it was mainly an experiment to see if I would like playing with a sub. I never intended to be some kind of super-dominant dom (if you know what I mean), I want to try a few things,  I wanted the sub to have fun, and of course I wanted to have fun myself. I achieved all these things, and learned a lot more than I thought I would. So this session was a success, imperfect as it was.

It did make me think what kind of a dom I am, or what kind of dom I want to be realistically. Sir J is my great example and mentor, but I doubt I can ever achieve his level. The way he can dominate me, both mentally and physically, yet while still being a good friend, is something extremely rare and I have serious doubts I'll ever experience something like that again, either as a sub or dom.

Right now I'm thinking that maybe I'm just more suited to simply domming people in a playful and friendly way. Just adults playing games, you know? At its most playful, BDSM is just a sexy adult version of playing cowboys and indians, or the cop/prisoner game kids do on the school playground. I know it's a bit more complicated than that, and I'm sure a lot of you will think I'm a bit simple in the head (to put it mildly), but whatever.

Taking that line of thought a bit further - I think my ideal situation would be to end up in a BDSM family, with one head of the family, maybe one alpha/big brother, and then 2 or 3 little brothers, which is what I would be. The head and alpha would obviously be the boss over the little brothers, but the little brothers would be allowed to play among themselves in any way they like.
Of course, the chances of this happening is slim to none, but for me it's a very nice thought.

I hope he does visit me again. I know better now the type of submission he craves, and if he is truthful in what he says, it should be quite easy to dom him next time. I know we aren't 100% compatible, he definitely needs a  stricter and more 'dominating' dom (you know what I mean!) than I can ever be. I'd still give it another try though, I can only learn from the experience.

Next update: another kinky date!

September 11, 2012

First time as a dom

I think it went pretty well :)

Last night, I made a little list of things to do with him, and I figured it would be enough to entertain him for at least an hour, maybe an hour and a half. Of course these were just guidelines but at least I had something to fall back onto.

Well, I'm happy I had that list, as he arrived half an hour earlier than we agreed heh. I already had most of my gear out, but still needed to do some preparations. He was waiting patiently at the door, like a good boy, on his knees and hands on his head.

After a while I let him in, and told him to undress in front of me while I was sitting on the sofa. I could tell this made him nervous heh. I had him strip to his underwear, and then I did the "your body belongs to me" routine I talked about a few entries back. I think I went a little bit too fast to have the effect I was going for, but I thought it was nice anyway. I took his underwear off myself, and played with his cock and balls a bit. He was already getting hard so that was a good sign!

I put a blindfold and handcuffs on him, and made him kneel in front of me while I sat on the sofa. I teased his cock and nipples a bit, not just with my hands but also with my sneakers (he's a socks and sneakers fan). After a while there was precum on my sneakers heh (I should've made him lick it off, but I kept that for later and then forgot about it. Next time!) By this time I also found my small leather collar and collared him.

I put the handcuffs away and made him lie down on the carpet, face down. This way I used him as a foot rest, I put my feet on his back and ass while I chatted to Tskinboot heh. The boy's ass looked so good though, I just had to smack it a couple of times. His feet were also unprotected so I tried tickling them...result! He appeared to be very ticklish, and obviously "hated" getting tickled.

That gave me an idea...and I'm quite proud of it actually, and I'd say it was the best part of the session. I already had prepared a lasso of sorts with a piece of (very soft) rope I have for another scene, and I decided to use it now. I was sitting on his back (not with my full weight of course, but so that he could definitely feel me), and put the lasso around his ankles. That way I could pull up his feet, so I had easy access to them, while he couldn't move them too much. So with one hand I was tickling his feet, with the other I held the rope. Every time he struggled too much, I smacked his ass.

It was really a good position for both of us, for me because I had easy access to both his feet and his ass, and for him because it's a submissive position, me on top of him, with his weak spot (his ticklish feet) exposed and abused. No escape!

I figured this scene was quite intense for him, and I had him on his stomach for quite a while now, so I allowed him to get up, and take the blindfold off. I asked him if he was thirsty, and when he said yes I put a small bowl of water on the floor in front of him and pointed at it. He resisted, for maybe half a second, but then started drinking anyway.

For the next scene I gagged him (with a silk blindfold actually - not really an effective gag, but if there was a problem he could still talk), and made him lie with his stomach on our solid wooden coffee table. I tied his hands with rope, and put the leather cuffs on his ankles .This way, I could sit next to him and give him a good spanking. I could also reach his feet like this, so again it was a good position for me heh. After a while I realised I could also access his cock and balls, so I played a bit with them as well. I liked slapping his balls, it got the heaviest reaction out of him. I asked him afterwards if I wasn't too heavy with that, but he said it was still within his that's something I'll pay more attention too next time :D

Then it was time for another little break. I had him lie on his back on the floor, while I put the ankle cuffs and handcuffs (connected with a chain) on him. That way I still used him as a foot rest for a bit, but I could tell the cuffs were cutting him so I opened one handcuff so he had more slack.
I played with his nipples, cock and balls a bit more, before I decided he deserved an orgasm for being such a good boy. The night before I told him not to masturbate, and seeing how horny he was now, I was sure he told me the truth when I  asked him again. So I told him he could masturbate and cum. And he did! I cleaned him up, and allowed him to rest a bit. I had ran out of inspiration of things to do, so I released him from his collar, blindfold etc.
As I expected, we played for a little over an hour and a half, which was a good length for a first time I think.

We talked a bit afterwards, he seemed pleased enough with everything that happened. I'm going to talk about him some more online about what he thought about it... he sent me a message saying he thought it was weird that I didn't cum myself hehe. I told him I was too busy playing the dominant to truly enjoy it sexually! Some scenes did turn me on quite a bit, but me cumming wasn't part of the script I guess, didn't even think about doing it to be honest. I just wanted the boy to have a good sub experience, he said he liked it so it was a great  and successful day for me!

I might write down some more thoughts about domming in another entry, this one is already getting too long. I can already tell you that domming is exhausting heh. You have to do and think about a lot of things at once, and that's quite stressful in a way. I'm sure it gets easier after a while, but still. Keeping the sub both safe and horny can be a lot of work.

And some self-criticism: I always complain that the doms I know aren't vocal enough in their play (only J gets it right), but I have to admit I didn't say that much either. There was that "your body belongs to me" thing, and I teased him about how annoying the tickling must be, but that's too bad because I enjoy it and I'm in control. And I asked him at least a dozen times if he's okay, if things weren't too tight, and kept saying he can tell me when his knees start to hurt or whatever. That probably annoyed him but better be safe than sorry I guess. Other than that I really didn't say much, I'll definitely try to be more vocal next time.

Okay, that's all for now. Time for a nap I think heh.

unexpected kinky date

This morning "darkmaster" on recon started talking to me... I knew his profile but I thought he wouldn't be interested in me because he's young and handsome and can basically have everyone he wants heh. Anyway, he invited me over, I accepted. Cue me being all nervous, scared, feeling ugly, full of self-doubt etc.

But I ended up going anyway of course. He has an apartment on the 6th floor, looking out over the beach and the sea. It was a nice sight while being tied up... But then he put a hood on me :( Evil! Hehe. I was left in a hogtied position, while he was sitting in the sofa next to me. He occasionally tickled my feet (a weak spot!) and slapped my ass, and used me as a footrest. After a while (an hour maybe?) I started to lose feeling in my hand so I told him. He untied my hands so my arms and hands could rest a bit, but soon I was tied up again. My legs were still in the same position, but my hands were tied next to my body. He added rope just above my elbows, which didn't feel that good at first but I got used to it. In this position, I almost fell asleep. I was already pre-dreaming but not asleep just yet.

Anyway, it was probably because I stayed still for a certain time, but after a while I hardly had any feeling in my left hand again. So again I complained heh. That was pretty much the end of the scene as well.

It was an interesting experience for sure. It was the first time I was tied up by someone younger than me, and that did make a difference for me, especially when he started using me as a foot rest. I "hated" him quite a bit for doing that to me, thinking "man, when you untie me, I'm going to kick your ass!!" I did calm down eventually, of course, but I still don't like him, he's too tall and too young and too handsome heh.

After the session, he asked "are you always this quiet?" "Yes I am." "Oh good, then I know it's not me". Hehe. Maybe I should put that on my recon profile as well, I am a very quiet guy and that can make some people uncomfortable.

When I got home an hour later, I still had rope marks, and the ones on my upper arm are still there, so I'm guessing it'll be a bruise for a couple of days...and I seem to have a spot of 'rope burn' on my lower arm, don't know how that happened, but you know, that's not really supposed to happen. I don't really mind that much but it's not very discreet either, so that's a bit of a negative really.

Anyway, he already said something about me coming back tomorrow, but then Master P said he'd normally be free tomorrow as well, and the past hour or two I've been chatting with a guy who wants to be my slaveboy, and should show up at my door tomorrow afternoon. What is going on? Before today my last kinky fun with others was in London, and now I have three people who want to play with me in one day. Crazy. Anyway, the plan is to entertain the slaveboy for an hour or two in the early afternoon, and then I'll see if I still feel like going out. I'll let you know what happens (even if everyone cancels heh).

September 6, 2012

Items in the mail

This Tuesday morning I thought it was my birthday AND Christmas at the same time when I received three packages in the mail, including two packages with kinky content!

I guess I'll do the pictures first and then talk about them...

I was looking to buy a (cheap) gas mask, and Tskinboot linked me to this ebay seller. After thinking about it for a while I ordered the GP-5 mask last week...and got it 3 days later in the mail.

I've been wearing it for short periods of time over the past few days. Today I had it on for over half an hour, before it started to annoy me too much to go on. It's just little things really, and some aches and uncomfortableness in general. I have the feeling I could wear it longer if I really wanted to, but I don't want to force things since it's not supposed to be an instrument of torture or anything. It should be fun to wear it, not something I dread wearing. 
In any case, it's a fun item to own, I'm not really a gearhead at all (or at least, not yet), but this is something I'm quite happy to have in my collection.

You've probably noticed the chain as well...

...which is a gift by Tskinboot. No, it doesn't mean I'm his collared boy now, it's a special gift and something to remember him by until the next time we meet :) 
I absolutely love wearing it, it's not too heavy but it's still very noticeable, especially when the padlock bumps against my chest. I can understand why so many boys want to wear a locked chain around their neck 24/7, the feeling is addicting, and it's even more special given its meaning. In that sense I'm only a faker I guess, or at best a semi-faker hehe, because it was sent to me by a friend I also call my "Boss", but that I'm not obliged to wear it.

When I thought about it some more, it actually made me a little bit sad and annoyed, for reasons I already mentioned in previous updates. In short, I'm not living in a situation that lets me be myself, and that's partly my fault and partly my environment. It basically splits me in two, the guy I have to be for family/society in general and the guy I want to be (or even the guy I actually am on the inside). I guess everyone feels like that sometimes, but right now that separation is pretty painful, hopefully I can improve some things by this time next year. The chain reminded me of these feelings, I'd love to send the key to Tskinboot and wear it 24/7 but it's simply not a good idea at this point. 

But I won't talk about this anymore, this is supposed to be a happy entry :) Several of my blog friends have made some entries about chain collars and their significance, check out Tskinboot's entry (which in turn has a link to Bear Paul's blog), and also one of my favourite bloggers Badgroveboy. 

Anyway, while taking the pictures today, I was surprised how horny that got me. The gas mask and the chain look great together, and I love walking around like that. I was still wearing pants, so I wasn't completely naked, but this combination (pants - naked upper body - gasmask) was great I thought. Now I just need to get some army trousers and boots and lose some weight so I can make some more interesting photoshoots :D

September 4, 2012

thoughts about...humilation

This is probably going to be a messy post, but here are some things I want to talk about when it comes to humiliation in a BDSM setting.

Being naked in front of clothed people: or CMNM (Clothed Male Naked Male), apparently the 'official' term for that. Not allowing the sub to wear clothes can help the sub get in the right headspace; the removal of clothes is part of the power transfer. You can also see it as something symbolic: the sub has to get rid of his outer shell (his daily clothes) to show the dom his inner self.
As for myself, normally I don't mind being naked, but not wearing clothes when a dom is fully clothed does embarrass me. It's even worse when I'm being told to strip off my clothes in front of them, I find that so humiliating and degrading, I usually end up at least semi-hard :) Being physically "inspected" by a dom is also a turn on.
(if you're also into this, there's a site with some scenarios here)

Pissing/Watersports: I don't have much experience with that, other than being pissed on. I actually found it so humiliating and degrading that I almost wanted to stop the scene. Afterwards though, thinking about it made me hard. It's something I'd do again but only with people I'm comfortable with. Psychologically, I find it one of the hardest things I've experienced in BDSM. It's almost dehumanising. I don't think I'll ever become a "piss pig" but you never know.

Shaving: I know not all of my readers will agree with this, but for me personally, shaving my groin is something humiliating. It makes me feel less of a man, and more like a boy. It does have an effect on me psychologically, and it usually puts me in a nice submissive "boy" mode. But then there's another part of me fighting that boy part (the "macho" part of me I guess),'s all a bit complicated heh.
Anyway, if I had a nice sub of my own, I would definitely keep him hairless down there...especially because that hair doesn't look so good with a chastity device :D

Enforced chastity: yes, I do think there's something humiliating about not being able to touch your own cock. You're human, and an adult, so you should be able to touch your own body parts when and where you want to. Well, not so when someone keeps you in chastity.

Diapers: easily one of the most humiliating things around for me. Adults shouldn't wear diapers!! (unless they really need them...) Tskinboot said he would put me in one, and I actually want him to do it, but at the same time...I don't. I mean, I will allow it, but I know it's one of those things I will fight hard (mentally), instead of just giving in.

Public exposure: this is a hard topic because there's a line between kinky play in public, and actually being a pervert/doing illegal things. Wearing a chastity device to a public nude beach is something I would never do or allow for example. I'm only really a fan of the semi-public exposure, which is playing in a BDSM club. There, you are still mostly surrounded by 'strangers' but all of them are kinky adults so there's no harm done.
When I was at FetishBound, I felt humiliated when Tskinboot ordered me to lick his boots, because I thought everyone would be watching (since it was still fairly early and most people hadn't started playing yet), but later I noticed no-one was paying any attention to us haha. In that sense I was more humiliated when I was at spankz night with J, when I knew that people were watching me getting whipped and were getting off on my pain. And he also pulled down the jockstrap I was wearing so people could see I was wearing a chastity device.

The internet, of course, is also a public place (of sorts), you can find plenty of videos on xtube of guys humiliating themselves in one way or another. Though it's always hard to know if they're basically just exhibitionists or if they really had orders by a dom...

That's all I can think of for now...

September 2, 2012

blog talk (and more)

I found some more blogs to follow this month, you can see all the blogs I follow on my blog list. I really like reading personal experiences regarding BDSM, there's really so much knowledge and interesting ideas out there. I'm particularly interested to read blogs by doms, which seems to be a pretty rare thing. I can really recommend Fossil9's blog to anyone, sub, dom or whatever, it has lots of useful information, personal experiences and, of course, very nice pics! Gets updated regularly too.

As for my blog, I think I'm going to write a few themed entries, starting with one about humiliation (in a BDSM setting of course), my experiences, what I find humiliating and why, stuff like that. I think entries like that will be interesting, both for my readers and for myself - once I get more experience, it'll be fun looking back to see if I changed my mind about certain things, or if my mindset is still the same. And yes, I'll add pictures, otherwise I get no views on this blog at all haha.
I think I also might put in more links to older entries, I now have about 120 entries, most of them are pretty useless but there are some good ones as well I think, like "a little history".

I ordered a gas mask.Why?'s for Halloween, yeah. That's what I'll tell anyone vanilla who sees it.
The real reason: well, it was cheap. And I quite like the look of the gas mask. Having only spent a little time in a few different gasmasks, I'm not overly positive or negative about my experiences. Wearing a gas mask mostly feels....weird. But I like weird :) So it'll be fun to experiment with it on my own a bit, and if I end up not liking it, it would make a good Halloween prop, no?
Also, there another package coming my way, and I'll show you what it is when I get it. For now, it's a secret :)

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