I had another weird, kink-related dream.
I was at my dad's house, with Sir J and my mother. He explained to her that he'll take care of me now, that I'll be safe and she doesn't have to worry about me. She started crying (like she always does), but Sir J continues to explain that I'm his boy now, and that she should be proud of me because I had the courage to give in to my darkest desires.
I was embarrassed, mostly, but at the same time there was a great sense of relief, and that everything would be okay from now on.
Sir J made me do several things, but one thing I remember is this: I had to bend over on a table, so I was in a good spanking position. Sir J said all sorts of things, like how much I would hurt, and that I'll be begging for mercy, etc. But... he only ever lightly touched my butt. He did this several times, making me think that he'll hit me hard, but then ending up barely touching me. It was a complete mindfuck, and even though I didn't get spanked, I was still sweating, shaking and out of breath after a while.
Then I was allowed to lie down on the sofa for a bit, but not before he attached my wrists to my collar. I closed my eyes, not because I was tired, but because I was still overwhelmed with emotions, I no longer wanted to be in that room. I wanted to block out everything. I was still feeling this weird mix of embarrassement and relief, and maybe a little bit of pride as well.
Should I analyse this dream? You know, just for fun? Okay. It's actually a typical dream in a way, as it uses different things that I've seen/read/experienced, but my dream-mind puts everything in a blender, and then a dream like this is what comes out. Most of my dreams are like that. This one is a bit special because of a few things; I can't remember ever sweating and being out of breath in a dream, for instance. Closing my eyes and having a sort of realistic 'awareness' of my body in a dream doesn't happen very often either. Same with having emotions other than fear (when having a nightmare - although I hardly ever have nightmares nowadays).
Regular readers might recognise some aspects of this dream; I already mentioned a few times that I'm annoyed I have to do all my kinky activities in secret, and that bdsm is still a pretty big taboo. So being 'outed' would give me a sense of relief, I guess, but I suppose I would also be embarrassed in a "what will people think of me now?" sort of way.
Other things in the dream are even easier to explain, but I don't really want to bore my readers with that. The 'mindfuck' is something weird though, I don't think I've ever seen anything like it, at least not in this form. And I think the presense of Sir J as opposed to other doms is because I've been talking to him a lot recently.
I now remember something else from the dream that seemed very random: while I was on the sofa, Sir J gave me a samurai sword, and told me to keep it close to me at all times, that I have to take care of it as it is now a part of me. Then later, I was on my bike, going away from my dad's house, thinking about what happened, and then suddenly remembered the sword, and that I didn't have it with me. So I had to go back.
...I don't quite know where that came from, that's easily the most random aspect of the dream.
That's all for now, I already talked way too much about this. Oh yeah, I noticed a lot of people on twitter (at least...5!) complaining about having really weird dreams or awful nightmares last night. Strange. Something for the X-Files, perhaps? :)