I've been thinking about it for the past week, and I really don't want to cum again. Maybe it's "chastity euphoria" (think space dementia, only related to chastity - and a very positive feeling), but really...I'm feeling really good about not cumming, and I fear that if I cum, I'll go back to my old regime of masturbating almost every day. I really don't want that, it just seems so stupid.
I think the only exception to the "no cumming" rule is when a Master wants me to cum - but even then, I'd consider it the worst possible punishment he could give me.
What I'm saying here is probably hard to believe for some people, but really, I mean it. It's not some fantasy, it's how I really feel right now.
I also have to mention again how much support I get from Master Phil. Today I made a third ball spanking video for him, and I really loved doing it, because I know he loves seeing the vids. And it makes me so happy when he calls me a "good boy" - today he even said he was proud of me, which really meant a lot to me. Master Phil was also the one who told me I should be permanently denied, something I wasn't sure I agreed on at first, but as always, he knows what's best for me, even if it takes me a bit longer to realise he's right.
MasterP and another Master recommended me to make a profile on straypup.com. Don't know if anyone else who reads this is a member there, but I quite like it (more than recon anyway), especially since you can send unlimited messages to each other.
What I didn't expect was how much reaction I'd get. I only made a very simple profile, just stating that I'm a bdsm beginner and that I'm looking for a Master to train me to be a good slave. I didn't even put up a picture. I registered last monday, and since then I had 9 (nine!) Masters contacting me, offering to train me. I'm seeing two of those next week, probably another 2 the week after that, at least 1 more early next month, and uhh, yeah. There are only about 2 that live relatively close to me, the rest is too far away to really have regular sessions. Anyway, we'll see how it goes. I'm seeing a Master on tuesday, and apparently he's really good - especially for beginners. I read some interesting things clicking through all the "references" comments, too many good things to mention here. Anyway, we're only going to have a short session on tuesday. Pretty nervous about it. Actually knowing that he has an entire "stable" of slaves makes me even more nervous, what if I'm not good enough for him? I know I shouldn't think that, but that's just me.
Then I'm going to see another Master on friday or sunday. He doesn't have a slave stable or anything heh, but we've been messaging and he seems to be a nice guy. He's really into cum control and chastity (he has a cb6000), so later on he might become my keyholder. But that's definitely not for the near future.
Oh, and I had one sort of negative experience on straypup.com. One (apparently fairly respected) Master wanted to train me, but he lives in another country (well, about 4 hours away I guess) and I told him that was too far for me. He replied, saying something about how he trains boys from my region, so that it obviously isn't too far, and how I'll never find a local, reliable Master with a playroom like his (true, he has an extremely impressive playroom - but it's not about the tools, it's how you use them!) and something about how I've been looking for a Master for months (huh? he sent that message on the day I registered on that site!). Really, it was a bit confusing. My first reaction was to send a very polite reply, but then I decided not to waste my time on him. His message reminds me of telemarketers, and how they react when you say no. It didn't really surprise me to read on his profile that he asks a "small contribution" for the use of his playroom. Yeah, to be honest, I'd love to visit his playroom, but not with him around. I don't react well to messages like the one he sent me.
Lastly, today I squirted out a good amount of cum while peeing again. Last time I did that was monday I think, so I seem to have a sort of weekly schedule, which is nice. I did feel rather "full" in the past couple of days, so I'm happy I got some boyjuice out.
That's it for now. I'll update again when I get back from my bondage session on tuesday!