good news, bad news...

Bad news. My "slave holiday" this weekend.......has been cancelled! So annoying. It's not really his fault (if he's telling the truth, and I believe he is), but it's still annoying on multiple levels. First of all, I was obviously looking forward to it, and have been looking forward to it for over a month now. And 2 days ago, he sent me a mail that already got me a little bit in the mood...I'm not going to repeat what he said, but, in a very nice, non-aggressive way, he let me know that he decides when I will eat and sleep. It made me think "woah, he's really going to decide everything for me, I'm going to be his slave, it's going to be so good!"

Secondly, even though he paid me the plane ticket back, I now have no reason to go to Nice. And even if I want to go, I only have 3 days to find a hotel and stuff. I wish I had more time to prepare, all my holidays are 'active' ones where I plan what I'll do in detail. I always have to do something, anything, or I get bored. I'm usually not one to visit places just to soak up the atmosphere. To be honest, I already looked up some hotels, and some activities I could do and places to visit, but I'm not used to deciding on such short notice. So right now, I'm thinking of cancelling the flight, and just stay at home. I'm already going to Paris in about 2 weeks, and I don't really want to spend more money on travel stuff this year.

The good news then, is that Master R invited me for a session tomorrow. I accepted, although I didn't realise how hard I wanted it until some people on twitter told me to go for it (thanks guys! heh). I also saw him today (but he didn't see me) in a public place today (at his work, sort of), not even 2 minutes after I read the mail about my cancelled holiday. Randomly seeing him made my day a little better. And then this evening, he was on straypup, and I couldn't help myself teasing him a little. Result: "comments like that means your behind is going to be more red than usual". Now I'm definitely looking forward to it!

Master R also asked me if I wanted to be punished by him in a bdsm-club. I said I had to think about it. I know you don't believe me, but I am a shy, introverted guy. Having a "mild" form of autism helps with that. I could make an entire blog about that, but, putting it simply, just being around other people gives me an insane amount of stress. Being naked in front of strangers would make the stress levels go deep into the red.

Or, you know, maybe not. In that session with other slaves, all of them were also 'strangers' to me, and I could handle being around them. Of course, that was simple, since there was only one master, the rest were slaves. In a club, things will be more complicated.

But maybe I just think about it too much. And I definitely want to give it a try. I'm actually quite honoured that he asked me, it means he's okay with showing me in public as his slave. So it would be a sort of coming out for me, as a slave, and as his slave. He probably does this with most members of his "slave stable", but still, it would be a big step for me.

I'm going to talk about all the above with Master R tomorrow for sure.

So I guess the next update will be about the session, maybe with pictures :)