more thoughts on domming for the first time

Yes, after the fun entry, the boring entry!

First of all, in case it wasn't clear, I definitely had fun domming. I hope you'll allow me to be just a little bit proud of myself, for doing a session like that all by myself. Was it fun? Definitely. Was it perfect? Far from it, there's a lot of room for improvement, but I learned a lot.
I also want to thank everyone for the comments and suggestions, they're very helpful for me.
I'll talk first about the things I like the most, and then about the things I feel I could improve.

I loved the tickling. This wasn't scripted at all, I discovered his sensitivity almost by accident, but it became a big part of the session. When he was back home, I sent him a message asking him if there was anything in particular he enjoyed or didn't enjoy. He said he liked everything except the tickling. When I told him that was my favourite part, he sent me a frowny face, and then "you're the Master, so I'll submit to it anyway". See, he is a good slaveboy!
Tickling really is the best kind of torture you can give someone isn't it? It can be very intense but it doesn't leave any marks.

I loved spanking him as well. I only planned to spank him at the end of the session, but I couldn't resist spanking him very early on. I couldn't spank him too hard (his wife would ask questions...), but I tried to vary my spanking. I even used his ass as drums and played a little song on them hehe. That's something I'll definitely do more, maybe even put on a song and drum along with it. Something like A visit from Drum (Liars) maybe, it's one of my favourite songs (and Drum's not dead is one of my favourite albums) just because of how hypnotic and repetitive it is.

Now for the things that could be improved.
The start of the session was definitely too scripted, I was basically "playing" the dom instead of actually being one. I was also far too focused on pleasing the sub, instead of doing things I woud like - but as the session went along, I felt more free to do the things I want, which was tickling, teasing and spanking him more.
I was also very concerned for his general safety, both physical and mental, which is why I frequently asked him if he was okay. I should've just given him a safeword at the start of the session, and reminded him of it during the session, instead of what I did now. I'll keep this in mind for next time.

I've had a few comments that I was basically not being 'dom' enough, which is true. But that wasn't really what this session was about for me, it was mainly an experiment to see if I would like playing with a sub. I never intended to be some kind of super-dominant dom (if you know what I mean), I want to try a few things,  I wanted the sub to have fun, and of course I wanted to have fun myself. I achieved all these things, and learned a lot more than I thought I would. So this session was a success, imperfect as it was.

It did make me think what kind of a dom I am, or what kind of dom I want to be realistically. Sir J is my great example and mentor, but I doubt I can ever achieve his level. The way he can dominate me, both mentally and physically, yet while still being a good friend, is something extremely rare and I have serious doubts I'll ever experience something like that again, either as a sub or dom.

Right now I'm thinking that maybe I'm just more suited to simply domming people in a playful and friendly way. Just adults playing games, you know? At its most playful, BDSM is just a sexy adult version of playing cowboys and indians, or the cop/prisoner game kids do on the school playground. I know it's a bit more complicated than that, and I'm sure a lot of you will think I'm a bit simple in the head (to put it mildly), but whatever.

Taking that line of thought a bit further - I think my ideal situation would be to end up in a BDSM family, with one head of the family, maybe one alpha/big brother, and then 2 or 3 little brothers, which is what I would be. The head and alpha would obviously be the boss over the little brothers, but the little brothers would be allowed to play among themselves in any way they like.
Of course, the chances of this happening is slim to none, but for me it's a very nice thought.

I hope he does visit me again. I know better now the type of submission he craves, and if he is truthful in what he says, it should be quite easy to dom him next time. I know we aren't 100% compatible, he definitely needs a  stricter and more 'dominating' dom (you know what I mean!) than I can ever be. I'd still give it another try though, I can only learn from the experience.

Next update: another kinky date!