Jealousy

I'm a jealous person. I envy pretty much everyone else. Everyone always seems nicer, smarter, prettier,... than me.
Usually it doesn't bother me that much...it's just life, you know? And even if someone is "better" than me, nobody's perfect. And sometimes being envious of someone can make me more motivated to achieve my own goals. So it's not that bad.

But my jealousy also has an impact on my kink life. The latest 'incident', if I can call it that, is this. I saw a profile of a dom on recon. He said he is now the owner of a sub. I see the sub has a profile. I click on the profile. The sub has a few facepics. It takes me 2 seconds to develop a huge crush on him. He's a few years older than me, but he has such a cute face, and such a sweet look in his eyes.
So I can't help being jealous, in three different ways! Because he's so goodlooking, because he's owned by his Master, and because I'd actually like to own a boy like him as well (I might do another update about my conflicting dom/sub feelings at some point soon).
I'm still thinking of sending a message to the dom, he's still looking for boys to play with, and since the focus is on bondage, I wouldn't mind indulging in any other kinks he listed on his profile. On the other hand, I'm not sure how I would react when I see both of them together, not like I'd be mean to them but my own jealousy might prevent me from actually having any fun.

This is one of those instances where I tell myself to "shut up and get over it", but sadly, my brain keeps working, and it's not that easy to get it out of my head. This is partly why I have this blog, I write some entries just so when I push the 'publish post' button, I can clear my head of what I just wrote and move on. It's why I wrote this entry, really. This has been on my mind for a couple of days now, so now I hope I can, as they say, draw a line under it.

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There, line drawn!! (okay, I technically typed it, but it's the thought that counts, right?)