denied

First of all, MasterP contacted me late last night, to see if I was available for a bondage session today. He did say that he might get called up for work, but we should try to meet up anyway. So, this morning, I texted him, and guess what? He got called up for work. Grr. I was really looking forward to getting my bottom spanked, along with some nipple torture. I was (still am I guess) in a very masochistic mood.

Then, for the "highlight" of the day:

Earlier today, when I took a piss, something happened. First there was a stream of normal piss, and then a second stream. I wouldn't have paid any attention to that normally, but I was looking down when the second stream started, and it was clear that this stream wasn't piss. It came out in one clean stream, yes, but it was thicker and, well, shinier. I scooped up a bit that was hanging on my cage, and yep: it was cum. I inspected the toilet bowl closer, and there was a thick stream of cum floating in the water.

Funny thing is, the same thing happened last week, but I was at uni then and didn't even think that the second stream might've been anything other than piss. Because, really, I didn't feel a thing. It just feels like pissing.

I think this is also interesting in a scientific/psychological way. It's now obvious my body doesn't NEED to orgasm to release cum. In other words, there's no physical need for me to masturbate or to orgasm, since my body would release those fluids anyway. In theory, this means I could stay chaste for the rest of my life, and still be healthy. It also means that whenever I feel the need to masturbate, it's a purely psychological thing. You know how they say that your brain is actually your biggest sexual organ? I've always agreed with that, and now I have another reason to believe it.

And lastly, I think it's another step towards feeling like a true locked and denied boy. Now even my body understands and accepts that I'm not going to orgasm anytime soon.

And in other "horny but chaste" adventures:

- there was a cute (and obviously gay - yes I have "gaydar" and I'm not afraid to use it!) young guy working at the register in one of the shops I went to. It was probably (okay, definitely) my imagination, but I swear his face lit up when he saw me. I was -this- close to saying something like "so...what do you do after work?" but I was my usual timid self, so yeah.

- this is definitely MasterP's influence (and being too horny for my own good), but recently I started noticing good-looking guys over 40. I've never paid attention to them before because I'm usually just interested in people my age, or a bit younger, but now I have seen the (40+) light! (I have more to say about this, but I'll keep it for another update).

- still wearing my cb2000. I installed the spikes again, as you can see on the 2 pictures I uploaded. They're actually the CB3000 POI, but they're just as (if not more) effective on a cb2000. I'm going to try a night in them. It's probably going to be a long, painful night, but I want to give it a try. I already had a few very painful attempted erections, not fun. But watever. I'll consider this an alternative punishment to being spanked.
I had the idea thanks to Phil (@driver on Locked and Denied). He's not my official keyholder but he certainly knows how boys like me should be handled. If there are any UK boys here looking for a keyholder/master, you should definitely contact him.

This was supposed to be a very short mid-week entry, hmm.