third week

I hadn't even realised I'm well over halfway my lock-up period, and broke my previous record about a week ago.

Still haven't had a session with MasterP, and the two other Masters I contacted are only available on Saturday. The only free Saturday I have this one is the 26th. Sigh.

It hasn't been a boring week at all though - I've been so submissive in the past week, I hardly believe it myself. I have Master Phil to thank for this, he's really dominating me in a way I previously thought would be impossible. I've sort of tried to be dominated online, but that just didn't work out for me. Those "masters" had no idea how to handle me. I expect a Master to, you know, dominate me, but I always turned out to be more dominant than them!! Not so with Master Phil. Even though we started writing messages in a casual way, at some point I just couldn't continue our conversation without calling him "Sir". His hold on me only tightened from then on.

He's the reason why I've been wearing my cb2000 with spikes for over a week now, why I made a spreadsheet with offences (and desired punishments - it's already quite long!), why I ordered Deep Heat off the internet (the UK version of Bengay - he wants me to rub it on my balls and make a video of it). Also, he made me do something I found extremely humiliating (so humiliating, I've long thought of not mentioning it here, but I have to be honest): I had to make a video of me spanking my balls, and send it to him. Now, if someone told me to do this 3 weeks ago, I would've told him to get lost. Or told him "no, YOU send ME a video of you spanking YOUR balls!!". But, right after we finished our conversation on msn, I went upstairs to the bathroom (I wasn't even at home - I was staying at my dad's house), stripped, turned on my camera and started spanking. Just like that.

Now I know a lot of boys wouldn't make a big deal out of that, but...I still have some of my pride. I know I shouldn't, and I really hope Master Phil or another Master will teach me to get rid of that pride, but I know that's going to take quite a while.

Another thing is that I'd love to serve Master Phil in real life, but there's quite some distance between us. I'm sure we could meet up for a weekend every month or two, but it would just be very frustrating because I have to leave every time after such a short stay. It's really annoying, I get the feeling Master Phil and me are very compatible (although he's more sadistic than I am masochistic - but that's probably the way it should be), so it's really annoying I can't serve him properly (I'd really love to be his houseboy/slave 24/7). I hope I can find a local Master I'm just as compatible with, but even if I do, I'll definitely never forget what Master Phil did for me.

As I said, I now wear the spikes with my cb2000 all the time, including when I sleep. It makes me aware of every attempted erection I have, especially at night. In the past week I already woke up 2 times because I was trying to get hard due to an erotic dream I had. I had the first dream right after my last blog post, so the night after I thought of chatting up shop boy. Most of the dream is a blur, but at some point me and a guy I had a crush on started kissing (tongue and all), and I started rubbing my hands over his chest, and played with his nipples.

The second dream was more like watching a movie: it was about a boy who moved to a university in another country. As part of some kind of initiation ritual, his classmates stripped him, tied him up, shaved his groin, and put a chastity device on him (which he would wear for his entire stay at this uni), and all the while he was being spanked. At first the boy was quite mad about getting treated like this, but he quickly realised that being in chastity just felt right.

The second dream is probably based on some chastity fiction story I read ages ago, I suppose it's a pretty normal dream to have (well, as a locked boy I mean). Master Phil made me realise the first dream is a bad dream; there was no element of submission, I was actually the active one in it.

I haven't had a dream since, but I'll definitely post them here if I get another one.

Lastly, has anyone seen this: http://www.lockedndenied.com/members/kdubb/activity/12599 That would be the perfect device for me!