June 4, 2012

fetish week and cheeky boys!

I've been thinking of going to London Fetish Week for a while, especially knowing that TSkinBoot was likely going as well. When I found out he was going, I started looking at hotels to stay at. When I told Sir J I was going to book a hotel and would love to meet up with him that weekend, he (virtually) twisted my arm and said I have no choice but to stay with him. I'm annoyed with myself now because I feel like I'm taking advantage of him, you know, because his work schedule might clash with my 'entertainment' schedule, so it might happen that we only see each other a couple of hours a day. I'd feel very guilty about that, as there really wouldn't be any point in staying with him other than using his house as a cheap hotel. I really don't want that, so right now I'm not feeling good about it, even though I realise Sir J is doing this purely out of friendship for me. Ugh, I'm just being silly I guess.

I still have to work out a lot of things, only thing I'm 100% sure of so far is that I'll be in London the weekend of 13-14-15 July... everything else I'll have to talk about with different people. 
In any case, I don't really plan on doing that much at Fetish Week anyway. FetishBound on Friday for sure, and I think I'll visit at least one shop on Saturday (Expectations, Regulation, and/or RoB London), and that's about it.


I've been a little bit annoyed with my 'little brother' yesterday. First of all, he came ("it was an accident!" yes, it always is isn't it?), secondly because he was pushing me to get punished harder, and then became very hyper/cheeky/naughty with me.
More details: I gave him a fairly mild punishment for his little accident, explaining to him I didn't punish him hard because he would actually enjoy that, and true punishments shouldn't be enjoyed. So it was mild because I knew he would want more, but I would deny him that, and leave him with an unfulfilled feeling (think of it as mental edging). Well, he was very annoying and naughty afterwards. At one point I closed down the videochat we were having (I was busy, not related to him), and when he tried to come on cam again, I denied him, truly because I was annoyed at him, and I know he likes being on cam.
Ugh, what to do with a little brother like that? I should take him to the slave market and sell him hehe. He is a nice boy but a little bit too needy for me to be honest. So he needs a (very!) strict master who can give him the attention he needs.

A couple of days ago, I bought myself an early birthday present...a Cheeky Boy. I intended to buy a Naughty Boy, but the shop only had a Cheeky Boy and a Butt boy. I tried it, but was a bit impatient and not relaxed enough, and couldn't get it in fully. To be fair I haven't had any anal fun in over a month, so I should probably start with my small aneros again and move up to the Cheeky Boy later.

Last but certainly not least, thanks for all the nice comments about the skin story. I wasn't even sure about actually doing part 2, but now I'm very motivated!! I'll have to do some more masturbating brainstorming to get everything the way I want it to, but I'll probably be ready to publish it next weekend.

4 comments:

  1. by the way big brother, i mean if you are not happy with that annoyed, i will definately stop. haha

    but, you are really lovely :)

    yes i need a strict master! :)
    yes sell me in the slave market but please, give me a good master ... :)
    i can only beg right? then i should behave better.

    i am making fun all over, but you know i am sincere right? haha.

    oopps, you kinda know me now.. i cant be naughty any more.

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  2. Rauber, I think you were all correct about your little brother unfortunately. Your very demanding little brother indeed needs to learn heavily on his side, first of all about proper respect. And it cannot just be blamed on his youth - as most little children have more respect for others than him. his loud cries for attention are just so very inappropriate. A very strict Master would be a good option, like you suggested, and from my side I can only add that such Master has to be an experienced and nearby living Master for sure, to keep him under tightest control. First of all of course to find out about his real wantings, as they seem so very unclear. If he really qualifies as a boy is still uncertain from my perspective, and maybe he has just to be dismissed after some trial period, as he is unable to show or develop the overall attitude a boy has to have. Naughtiness does not qualify a boy. I am truly sorry that you seemed to waste your time with him so far, trying your best to teach him the very basics to be a boy, now given such disrepectful comment as a reward for your valid and earnest efforts.

    Do not worry so much about your stay in London. I am very sure that Sir J's offer is very honest and an act of true friendship, and you would offend him heavily if you ever just consider to take it down. He will for sure be most happy to have you around.

    Regards, Roland

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    Replies
    1. Roland, thank you for your comment.

      My little brother has to learn a lot indeed, and it seems like I'm not really getting through to him. His dreams and wishes right now are still too far from reality, and like you said, a very strict local master seems to be the only way to ground him in reality. I feel that he is serious about certain things, but if he keeps playing games on his terms, his sincerity is something that should be questioned.
      I plan on still talking to him, but I doubt I'll further involve myself in his actual training or punishments.


      I know Sir J is doing this out of true friendship, and I realise I am bad boy for over-thinking this instead of just accepting his offer and being happy and appreciative of his kindness. Just like the first time he invited me, I know the best thing I can do is to just surrender to his will. It only takes me a little while to accept the situation. It's something I have to work on, both as a sub and as a human being.

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  3. Rauber, I think your hesitance to accept Sir J's offer actually honors you, and I personally see nothing wrong with that in general. In fact, I would have been worried if you just jumped on the offer, thinking of your benefits thereby, maybe even first place. Instead, you see the benefits and are therefore deterred to accept the generous offer, as you do not want to prey anyone. I think your approach is most honorable and respectful. The only thing that might be easy to learn is to respectfully accept gifts given due to true friendship. The awareness that such gifts are not just ordinary or standard makes them special, and the approach that one does actually have done nothing to deserve them, makes them ultra-special - both for the giver and the receiver. Continue to take them seriously as very special gifts and offers, there is nothing wrong about that, it even enhances the joy both parties will feel by acceptance. As there is also the danger to degrade such high-value gifts and offers by feelings to have to surrender to them, as they still are of high value.

    Best regards, Roland

    ReplyDelete

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