January London visit, part 1

I went to London late January to visit my Master. It was a short but very fun visit!

First beating I got was quick but hard :(

And I got a chain with a huge and heavy lock around my neck for the rest of my stay... so cruel... (okay I loved it but shhh) It was a bit annoying during the night as I toss and turn a lot so I had to readjust it from time to time.

The weight of course was a good reminder that I'm property, and when he's using a lock this big I must be pretty important property no? Hehe.

It was also nice to be in my usual position, surrounded by familiar smells and sights...a picture says more than a thousand words right?

Yes, I was a very happy boy.

On the second day I got tied up on a chair, something I've been wanting to be done to me for a long time... but I also got something extra in the form of electro-torture... Sir has a mean Tazapper (found a funny video that shows what it is), it's loud, flashy and very annoyingly painful...like Sir said, it's a good tool to make a boy behave himself. I definitely dreaded it, I didn't think it was fun at all.
The Neon Wand I liked a lot more then, although it can go from pleasurable to annoying, it's still not as "sharp" as the Tazapper.

It was funny when his boyfriend came home, I was facing the front door so it was sort of exciting/humiliating that the first thing he saw was me tied up on a chair. His reaction: "huh...did we get robbed or something, and did they steal his clothes and tie him up like this before leaving?"
Soon after they went to bed and left me like that... now my shoulder was starting to hurt a little bit (left shoulder always bothers me when I'm tied up for a longer time) so I discretely tried to get free, even though I knew he would not leave me there for the night... I still wanted to have a plan B! (and yes he came back to untie me)

On Saturday we went to The Hoist for Boys and Sirs. We met up with one of Sir's boys and the boy was used and abused all afternoon...I was really impressed with his stamina. There was another good dom that took really good care of the boy, it was really nice to see. I didn't get much action myself, apart from some quick (but hard) beatings, but I didn't mind that much really, I just wanted to stay with Sir.  It was fun when his bf showed up and kept teasing me. It was also cute that he got a lot of attention from other guys hehe.
I did get a bit annoyed with the people that kept touching the boy when Sir was playing with him, I mean, it's like they're leeching off the energy between two people... if they want to touch him they could at least ask... or capture a boy of their own, but I guess they can't do that so they leech off other people's play. I just don't like that. Even though at some point I thought "in 20 years I might be one of those guys...!!" But I guess that won't happen as long as I have friends into kink...

Afterwards we went for an (expensive) burger, and on our way to Collared I realised I forgot the rucksack with the gear in it at the burger place :( So I went back to get it and we went to Collared...
We were early so we had lots of space to play. Over the course of the evening I got beaten, bullied, kicked, trampled and humiliated... I suppose the "highlight" was being stripped and secured to the cross in the main room, with Sir rubbing Deep Heat on my balls... I was left to suffer for the amusement of the other perverts people there... very humiliating for me.

We didn't stay all night though, it was getting too crowded for me, Sir was tired, and with little to no play going on towards the end of the evening, we went home.
My problem (if you can call it a problem) with Collared is that it feels more like a night club for guys into kink, rather than an actual kink event. I mean, the DJ (who doesn't do a bad job at all) is supposed to be an extra asset but when I'm being beaten or licking boots, I have no need to hear Cyndi Lauper's Girls just want to have fun. You know what I mean? Although it was funny that last year, when Tskin was flogging me on the cross, the DJ played The Prodigy's Smack my bitch up (still don't know if that was intentional or just a happy coincidence). Anyway, it's not that I don't like Collared, but since play is the most important thing to me, I vastly prefer FetishBound.

Back home, we assessed the damage done...

I should also mention the ride home wasn't really very comfortable... of course I deserved at least some of that for forgetting the bag in the burger place :( 

That's all for part 1. In part 2: guess who gets to be the cigar and piss boy? 

My Master's new blog

Hi guys,

as some of you know, last week I went to London to spend some time with Sir. A full entry on this is coming very soon. One of my tasks there was to set up a blog for Sir (finally, right??). I did that, and today he has made his first entry. You can find the blog here:

bdsmequalslove.blogspot.com

It's still early days obviously but it would be nice if you could add it to your blog/reading list. Thanks!

a little story

Sir orders me to get naked and use the metal plug. After I get it in, he tells me to put on the kneepads, and kneel in the living room next to the TV. I hear the clanking of metal - it surely means he'll put me in irons, but which ones? Soon I feel the metal around my neck and wrists. To finish it off, he makes me wear a hood. "You're going to be our little gimp tonight aren't you? Spread your legs and bend over so we can see that plug in your arse. Good. Now stay like that."

As Sir and his boyfriend watch TV, I wonder for how long I have to be in this position, as it's far from comfortable. It would have been even worse if I didn't have the kneepads, but still, it's a lot of stress on my knees and back. I try to keep the same position but it's almost impossible, it's not long before I start sweating and being quite uncomfortable.

"Not easy is it? But you can stay like that a little longer." I try to motivate myself by thinking I'm suffering for Sir's entertainment and that's the way it should be. Pain is submission. I feel my cock getting hard from that line of thinking, but it is only a fleeting distraction.
"Gimp boy! Come over here". Finally. He releases me from the irons and I'm allowed to rest my head in his lap. For a few short minutes at least. "Up." Sir starts playing with my nipples, increasing the intensity until I moan. "Oh we've only just begun, gimp. And shut the fuck up, my boyfriend is trying to watch TV".

He continues tormenting my nipples, and I can't help crying out a second time. "You little bitch, you're going to pay for that. Get up, and bend over the sofa." I obey and it's not long before I feel the sting of the cane on my arse. I try to stay quiet but a hit on that tender spot where my upper leg and arse cheeks meet, makes me cry out. I apologise and he stops. Not saying a word he pulls me up and stuffs his underwear in my mouth. He pushes me back over the sofa for another assault, this time my legs and back aren't spared either.

"What do you think, has he had enough as a punishment for disturbing you?" His boyfriend, ever the one teasing me and getting me into trouble, replies "no, just a bit more...". Again the cane and my skin interact. The cane wins.

After the assault is over, the wrist and neck irons are put on me again, and I'm guided back to the place next to the tv. "Do you like our improved gimp? Those red stripes on his skin are all the fashion now I hear."
At the next commercial break, I'm being told to face them. I see Sir approaching me with heavy clover clamps in his hand. "We're going to decorate our gimp a little more, hmm?" He plays with my nipples a bit before applying the clamps. He closes the zipper on the hood so now I'm blind and oblivious of what will come next.

I feel him fidgeting with the clamps - I'm guessing he is putting a bit of string on them so he can pull on the clamps while he's sitting in the sofa. My guess is right. Every so often there's a pull on the clamps and every time an involuntary noise escapes my underwear-gagged mouth. They both find this highly amusing.

After a while, the random pulling stops, and I hear some rather suspicious but familiar sloppy sounds... they are enjoying themselves and forgot all about me. That is the way it should be, I think, I am just an object, a toy, something that exists only for their entertainment. They use me when they feel like it. They don't use me when they have better things to do. That is my lot in life.

It's not easy being a gimp. But it can be damn horny.

2013/1014

Well it's the end of the year, time to look back and look forward!

2013 was definitely a year of two halves; one before mid-july and one after. In the first 7 months of the year I was able to do 4 trips to London, each of them fun, unique and with new experiences.
February visit: first taste of the rigid irons, having Sir and Boss (Tskinboot) together was a lot of fun, meeting Sir's big bro, and losing my virginity :O
March visit: doing the Underground club trifecta (Spankz, FetishBound and Collared), briefly having a slave brother, being beaten hard!
May visit: forced haircut and being pissed on right after (one of the best scenes ever for me), rope suspension by Tskin at FetishBound, more traumatising humiliation play!
July: bondage weekend with Bondisimo, being very very horny, and feeling like I'm part of a family.

After that, not much happened when it came to kink. It's part laziness, part thinking "but it won't be the same without Sir or the friends I already know", and part not having a lot a self-confidence, thinking I'm not good enough, etc., which only got worse as time went on. It's a lot of little things about myself that annoy me, and obviously the best way to counter this is to meet new people and realise it's mostly in my head, but... I just couldn't do that.

So I guess I have something to work on in 2014; feeling more confident and meeting new people. Funny (or tragic) is that I wrote the same thing in my 2012/2013 entry. Quite honestly though, I have other priorities for next year which are more important than play. There's still plenty of things I want to do and people I want to meet, but it can't be all play!

As for the blog, there's been a noticeable drop in readers the past few months but that's only normal since I didn't have many experiences (or pics) to share. Just like every year there have been instances where I thought "oh what's the point anyway" but the blog is still here and staying here, even if there might not be a lot of updates coming.

Lastly, a big thank you to my friends for being my friends :)

Secretary (movie review)

I assume most people have seen this movie by now, if not, go see it now and come back when you're done! Spoilers and all that.

I saw this movie about a year after it came out I think, so at that time I knew I was into BDSM, but had no real life experience. I was turned on about some aspects in this, but I only understood some things when I saw it again and read more about actual BDSM relationships rather than just wank material heh.

I saw it many more times since then, and I did so again this week, as I thought it would be interesting to talk about on this blog.

First of all I would like to talk about some of the problems of the movie, or rather how people seem to misunderstand it. I've read some comments from people who think the main characters are in an abusive relationship. I'll talk about that more later. Secondly, there's the criticism that Lee is "crazy" and therefor BDSM is only for crazy people. Well, we could have a long discussion about what "crazy" really means - she had psychological problems and needed help. When you know that 1 in 6 people in the US suffer from depression at some point in their lives, being "crazy" suddenly seems pretty normal. And most of us have our own demons to fight in our head.

Quite honestly, I find Mr. Grey to be just as "damaged", if not more so, than Lee. He's neurotic, asocial (count the number of people he talks to outside of work - I found 1, when he asks for his laundry), avoidant (hiding - in the closet! - for his ex-wife), and as the movie progresses, you can tell he's far more troubled with his own sexuality and feelings than Lee. Lee basically unlocked his sexuality and made him accept himself, something all the other secretaries (and one wife) failed to do. So, where's the abuse in this again? Though I have to admit, the first time he spanks Lee, is a bit... wrong. She didn't give him her consent for that first spanking. I mean, the fact that she stayed there and did what he said is a form of consent, but that very first time he hits her...no. That's a tricky situation when you're trying to explain consent is one of the pillars of BDSM. And leaving Lee at that desk for 3 days is cruel, I say he should have stopped after he saw her pick up the phone with her mouth!

Also, I somewhat feel sorry for Peter. I think he genuinely cared for her a great deal, but he showed that in a very pushy way. I can understand him of course, he's no prize catch himself, and Lee (at least at the start of the movie) is in his league. Though in the end we know he can't give her what she wants, it's still kind of sad that he ends up alone.

The sweetest parts of the movie are at the end. When she's at the desk, people drop by with positive and negative comments. The feminist was easily the worst, no? People don't understand that submission isn't a sign of weakness, it takes strength to submit. I loved what her dad said though: "You are the child of God's holy gift of life. You come from me. But you are not me. Your soul and your body are your own, and yours to do with as you wish." I thought that was a very unexpected turn of events; her dad obviously caused her a lot of emotional pain, but he did care about her. The psychiatrist also said some good things, like "who's to say that love needs to be soft and gentle?"
Another good quote was from Peter when he notices she doesn't want to remove her hands from the desk. Peter: "Is this something sexual?" Lee: "Does this look sexual to you?"
Also loved the ending of course, Lee saying she felt pretty for the first time in her life, the way Mr. Grey bathed her and practically worshipped her... their little honeymoon was nice as well hehe.

As a frequent visitor to IMdB, I was surprised the message board for this movie were quite reasonable. Like this one and that one. It has some things I'm trying to say here, but better!

I think that's all I have to say about it...

No wait. What's wrong with being tied to a burning stove while having tomatoes thrown at you?