While making a back-up of stuff on my old laptop, I came across some mails that brought back a lot of memories...
About a year and a half ago, I joined a site called Locked and Denied. It was a 'social network' site for people into chastity. Back then, I really was into chastity in a big way, and I found the site to be really fun; fairly small-scale, and with great interaction between members. I met a few nice people on it, had some great conversations and talked about various topics related to chastity and being a sub. Thanks to that site I also did my first "long" (about 5 weeks) lock up period. I don't think I would've made it that far if it weren't for the support from the people there.
But around that time I also had my first real-life BDSM experiences, and chastity just didn't seem as important anymore. After a while I didn't visit the site that often anymore, and at some point
the site went down. Really a shame it had to happen like that, I loved the community, and I hope one day he finds the time and energy to get it up again at some point.
Anyway, I want to talk about one guy in particular I met through that site. The first few messages were just general talk, but I noticed this dominant undertone in his messages, and after a while I simply asked him if I could call him "Sir" because it somehow seemed natural to address him that way. Well it only got better from then on hehe. We had some really nice conversations and we were really quite compatible. He was quite sadistic (maybe too sadistic for me), but when he talked about his fantasies it also involved romantic elements. He really wasn't a random brute - if he was I doubt we would've exchanged more than two messages.
He was really good at keeping me in a submissive mindset; he knew that chastity, corporal punishment and humiliation were things I needed to be (and remain) a good boy. He was breaking me down, piece by piece, until I would fully accept that submissive slut deep inside me. I even made two videos for him, both of them were about spanking my balls while in chastity. He told me to put them on my xtube account, but I begged him not to expose me to such humiliation (you could clearly see my face on the video), and he showed his kindness by not forcing me to do it hehe. For me, another sign that he might be "evil" but still understanding - like any good dom should be.
Sadly we lost track of each other - last thing I did was send him a "hi Sir how are you?" message on MSN, which went unanswered. Maybe he got bored of me (though, if he was being honest, I thought we really had something going on and I would've loved to visit him), maybe it was just a bad time (for both us), maybe... who knows?
There were many important things I learned from him, and random bits of conversation I still remember. When he first started talking about the possibility of meeting up, I told him he would end up being disappointed with me. He asked me why. I said I'm not a supermodel or anything, I'm just an average boy. He replied that he's interested in me because average, boy-next-door types are exactly the kind of guys he's into. That was important for me, to get some self-respect and not be embarrassed about my body or who I am in general. Although, I'm sure he loved me being embarrassed about my small dick hehe.
Now, for me, it's sort of funny to write all this, and see the similarities with a certain dom in the UK I started talking to about a year after this. Someone who I also talked to casually before getting to call him "Sir." Someone who is also evil, but understanding, and who beats me (hard!) but hugs me and calls me a "good boy" as well. Someone who also likes to see me naked, humiliated, degraded, fully focused on pleasing my Sir and not having silly thoughts about topping other boys!!
It's funny how things go sometimes. And how we get influenced by seemingly random encounters.
How about a toast? To random encounters. And on a personal note, a toast to all those people who had, and still have, an influence on my kink life.
