all play

Again, it's been a while since my last update. I have added a few people on my reading list in the meantime. It works both encouraging and discouraging. On one hand it gives me stuff to think about, on the other, the things I usually talk about just seem so boring, and I'm just not that good a writer (although, considering english isn't my first langauge, I think it's not all that bad).
Then sometimes I think of never writing anything again, but I realise I sometimes need to let out certain things, and a blog certainly seems to be a quick and easy way for that. Besides, it's not like I'm forcing anyone to read it, right?

I haven't been doing that much kinky stuff in recent weeks. I'm still using my aneros at least once a week, usually more. I still love it, but I'm definitely considering buying another one. I just don't know if I should get a smaller one (the SGX) or a larger one (the Progasm). The easy answer is both, but my bank account wouldn't agree with that.
I'll also need to buy some more lubricant soon; I bought a big bottle last year, and thanks to using the aneros so much, it's almost empty. Might as well buy a new toy to go along with it, right?

In the past few weeks, I masturbated almost every night, just before going to bed. That's nothing new really, it's pretty much a habit (ever since I first started masturbating), and a "nightcap" of sorts. I usually fall asleep within 10 minutes of coming. I don't always do it, and try to stop myself from doing it by reading a book just before going to bed (which also helps me get to sleep faster). I still do it about 4 nights of the week though, at least.

2 days ago, I was feeling horny, started watching porn, read some stuff on altarboy's site, and came very close to orgasming. But what did I do instead? I closed the pc, went to my room, got out the cb6000 and put it on. Anyone see the logic in this? I think it was a way of punishing myself for masturbating so much (well, 4-5 times a week probably isn't that much for a man without partner, but still). Reason aside, I'm staying locked up until sunday evening, maybe even monday evening. And unlike last time, no edging either. No contact with my penis whatsoever (and can you believe it, just as I'm typing this I get an erection. Down boy, down!). I am going to do an aneros session later today, it's much easier to focus on the anal pleasure when my penis isn't in the way.

Oh yeah, there's also this:


Ordered this a month or two ago. The SLRN is the number I have on The Slave Register. Yeah that might look a bit silly to some, but I always had an obsession with dogtags (and barcodes as well, actually), so I quite like it.

Okay, that's it for now.

day 6

Nothing eventful happened on day 6 in chastity. I get the feeling I can stay locked up forever. I usually get that feeling after 4 or 5 days, but whenever I go longer than 7 days, I start thinking "why the hell do I have a plastic cage around my penis?". Around that time I completely lose my horniness/submissiveness as well, so it's not longer fun. So either way, I'm unlocking myself tomorrow or on sunday.

I haven't said this yet, but I use to have a livejournal account where I used to talk about chastity and stuff. I stopped updating there because a) I had a stupid username, b) I don't like livejournal, c) ...I can't remember, but there was something else. So, here I am! I'm surprised it's taken me more than 8 months to decide to start a new blog, or to do another update. I really need an outlet to my "dirty" side.

Oh yeah, I just finished (more or less) writing a little story, based on a fantasy I had while waking up this morning heh. Yeah, when in the cage, I'm actually at my horniest in the morning. I quite like it that way actually - but only because I don't have to get up for anything right now.

cb6000 trouble!

After that postive experience, something bad was bound to happen.

I was wearing my cb6000 as me and my mum went to dinner. We drove to a restaurant, and in the car I could already feel that the cb wasn't as it should be. Not much I could do about it, and I didn't really thought it was that bad, until we left the restaurant. It was clear that my penis was no longer in the device, and that the ring got lose. Which meant one of the guide pins got off, or got broken. Back home I checked immediately, and yes, I had lost one a guide pin. I thought "oh damn, I'll have to check the next to see if they sell the guide pins seperately, otherwise I'll have to buy a new cb6000!" I did the only thing I could do, and traced back my steps from my home to the garage (which is on another block). And you won't believe this, but I found the guide pin right in front of our garage! I was so happy and relieved.

Of course, I'm still a bit pissed off that this could happen. Although I told myself I really should use superglue to keep the guiding pins in their place, I really think the manufacturer should've already taken care of this before selling the product. It's not the first time this happened to me, and I heard complaints from other people as well.
You know how I've always said the cb6000 is my favourite device, but you know, it's still not perfect in any way.

So day 5 in chastity has been quite eventful. Still haven't heard anything from my xtube friend, but I guess I have been a little hard (oh hum) on him. Why can't I just play along?

Oh yeah, is anyone member of the cb3000 yahoo group? Great source of info on chastity devices. In the files section, there are hypnosis files, which are meant for people who want to be locked up permanently. There's one specifically for the cb6000, I downloaded that one and I've been watching/listening to it a couple of times a day since yesterday. I don't expect it to have any long-term effect, but then I don't repeat that "I will stay locked up, always" mantra. Watching it a couple of times and doing that mantra will probably have a more lasting effect. I believe hypnosis like this can work, but only if you're 100% commited to it. Which I'm not :) Maybe when I get my "normal" life back to uh, normal. I do want to be locked up as much as I can but I don't really want it to be an obsession, you know?

fantastic plastic

Still locked up. 48 hours, but it feels so much longer. Still, I'm determined to wear it until at least thursday, and maybe longer.

I do unlock myself to take a shower and clean the cb6000 though. It gets dirty/smelly after a day, and I really want it to be as clean as possible. I know most people use Q-tips for cleaning, but it just doesn't seem enough for me.

Also, last night I "cheated" and unlocked myself for some edging. Is it cheating though? I don't cum, I just masturbate for a few minutes, until I feel I'm about to cum, then I stop and lock myself back up. Although a big drop of pre-cum did come out...

And the night before that, I briefly switched to my cb3000 (it's a "fake" I bought on ebay, but it still works). I got the points of intrigue for it, and used the smallest one. It fit quite well, but at some point, the whole device slipped off! It's not the first time this happens, I just can't seem to find a good balance between a comfortable fit and a secure fit. It's why I prefer the cb6000, which fits me perfectly.

In general, the longer I stay locked up, the more extreme my fantasies become. I fantasize about being permantly collared, permantly chastized, and tattooed and branded as a slave. It really turns me on (just writing this makes my dick throb in its cage), but thinking about it rationally, it's something I'd never do or allow in real life. Unless I really find a person who I'll be with for the rest of my life, and who can really bring out my inner slave, then I'd probably allow it. It's certainly one of my deepest desires to be a 24/7 slave, but that desire certainly clashes with other parts of my personality. Oh well, it's just a fantasy that's unlike to ever come true, nothing to worry about.

A month or so ago, I made an account on xtube (rauberinchains). Didn't put much on it myself, just some old pics. There are already enough wanking vids on it, I'm sure they don't need me for that. But there are some good bondage and chastity-related videos on it, and plenty of other guys who are locked up. I spend a lot of time on it recently...I know I shouldn't, but it's so tempting. I'm sure I'll get tired of watching porn at some point...right?

being horny and "enforced" chastity

Lately, I started wearing my cb6000 again for longer periods. Since I'm single, there's no-one controlling me, and I can wear it as much (or as little) as I like. I have to admit, most of the time I use it as a way to prolong my horniness. It usually goes like this:

1) I feel somewhat horny

2) I put on the cb6000 (and sometimes other bdsm-related toys)

3) I watch/read all the porn I want

4) after a couple of hours, I unlock myself, start masturbating, and get an orgasm in less than a minute

5) cb6000 and everything else goes back into the box, until I feel horny again.

This suits me fine of course, but sometimes I want to wear it longer. It's hard to explain why. Obviously, I love being in it. But why? Because it makes me feel more submissive? Because it just feels good? Because it means I can feel horny for days? Or, something I thought of today: because it's a challenge. I masturbate (what a surprise eh?) about five times a week I guess. That might not be a whole lot, but to me, it's still an addiction. I really can't go more than 3 days without thinking "hmm, I haven't masturbated for a while. I should do it tonight!". And if I don't, I start feeling bad. Not in a depressed way, but...I guess masturbating is my biggest stress-release. I really NEED it. This need is why I consider it an addiction. I know most people will disagree with me on that, and say that sexual relief is as normal as eating and drinking, but, to me, it's different.

Anyway, my need to orgasm is also what makes it a challenge to wear a chastity device for more than a couple of days. My absolute record has been 11 days, which is something I'm still proud of. I didn't do it alone I guess, a friend acted as my keyholder (long story), but I still stayed in the device longer than she suggested. It was weird being "free" again, and the first orgasm after that wasn't even very enjoyable to me. Sounds weird right? I was like both my penis and my mind had forgotten that an orgasm is supposed to be enjoyable. It was a very strange experience.

That was two years ago. Since then I haven't been locked up longer than 5 days, usually just one or two. This week, I wore it from thursday afternoon until saturday afternoon (48 hours). While I was masturbating, I told myself "and now I'm going to wear this until tuesday evening". Of course, I tell myself a lot of things just before masturbating, but this time, I fully plan on doing it. It's "only" 3 days and 3 nights, but the longest consecutive period I'll be in it since 2008. Depending on how I feel about it, I might prolong it until thursday afternoon, to make a full 5 days. Now THAT would be a challenge.