short update

Sorry for ignoring the blog for so long, but I had nothing interesting to say anyway.

My last orgasm is now a week ago. And my next one is a week away. Yes, I'm trying to go for my longest period without orgasm ever.
How did this start? Well, sometime last week I thought "wow, I haven't masturbated in 3 days now!" The funny thing is, I have a sort of internal clock telling me this. On the 3rd night without orgasm, I'll ALWAYS have a dream involving sex or nudity or something similar. Always. It's really the only time when I have dreams like that. It's never a wet dream, just some sort of reminder I guess. I wonder if other men experience something similar.

Anyway, I started thinking of locking myself up for the rest of that week. I used the CB2000 this time. Personally I think it's slightly more uncomfortable than a cb6000, but I absolutely love the design, and I still like wearing it. So I did, and I'm still wearing it. Only took it off once to clean it, otherwise it's been on for 4 days straight now.
Starting from tomorrow though, I'll be babysitting my cousin for the rest of the week. He's almost 4 and very active. So I won't have time for anything kinky, and I won't be wearing my cb2000 either. I also won't be touching myself. I'm determined to have my next orgasm next monday, which would make it 2 whole weeks - 15 days to be more precise. I now I can do it.

I've also started using my Aneros again. I didn't take it with me on my vacation in june, and only really used it once or twice. Until a few days ago. I now slept in it for another 2 nights. No problems at all. I even had another very nice experience with it, like in the "old days": I took my time to do some breathing exercises, and felt nice and relaxed. After about 20 minutes, I softly began moving the aneros. And it started to pound my ass right away, without me doing anything. Really nice feeling, but I couldn't keep up with it. But, lesson learnt: the breathing exercises and relaxing beforehand are very important to get the full experience.
I'm now pretty sure I'll be another Aneros model, probably the Helix.

I have more to say, but no time! I'll update again next week.

not an addict

As expected, I am having second thoughts about those pictures I took a few days ago. But not of that one on here. I mean, in the unlikely situation that someone I know in real life finds out about all this, and confronts me with it, I'd feel more ashamed about what I write here (especially my fantasies), rather than just a nude picture of me. If someone came up to me and said "hey, I saw a naked pic of you on the internet", I'd just ask them if they liked it. If they said "hey, I read your blog and now I know you like sticking things up your ass and have some extreme fantasies", I wouldn't really know what to say, and I think I would be genuinely embarrassed and ashamed. Unless, of course, that person actually liked what he or she read heh.

If you'll allow me to rant on for a little - I still don't get society's negative view on nudity in general. A naked body is one of the most natural and beautiful things there is. Why be so obsessed with hiding your natural beauty? People are all "omg perverts" and "won't anyone think of the children??" and all that crap. Why? I don't get it. The only 2 things I can think of is 1) people automatically associate nudity with sex, and 2) western/christian/catholic modesty. I was raised a catholic, and we were basically taught that our own body is our enemy, an instrument of sin, not something that you should like or enjoy. It took me many years to get rid of this catholic indoctrination (yes, it really was -and still is- a socially acceptable form of brainwashing people, especially kids, who have no mental defence against such things), and, as I'm actually writing this - I still 'suffer' from it in some ways. I don't want to make this an anti-relgion rant (too late?), but surely certain religious values shouldn't have such a big influence on society as a whole. If wanting the whole world to be more open about nudity and sex, then by (insert your god), I AM a pervert!!


Actually I did something "perverted" two night ago. I was still wearing my cb6000. Put in my aneros as well. And went to sleep. And I did sleep. I had something up my ass for about 8 hours straight. Didn't hurt one bit. Perinium tab was slightly uncomfortable when I woke up, but it didn't hurt. Whole thing felt good. My penis locked up, my ass plugged. It...felt good, what else can I say? I would've never done this if I wasn't locked up in my cb6000, I would've just jerked off, got the aneros out, and went to bed. I'm happy I did it, but I'm not sure if I would do it again soon. I'm really getting addicted to my aneros, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. An addiction is okay as long as it's not harmful, right? I'm also going on a vacation for two weeks soon. I'm not sure if I want to take it along, but I probably will.

all play

Again, it's been a while since my last update. I have added a few people on my reading list in the meantime. It works both encouraging and discouraging. On one hand it gives me stuff to think about, on the other, the things I usually talk about just seem so boring, and I'm just not that good a writer (although, considering english isn't my first langauge, I think it's not all that bad).
Then sometimes I think of never writing anything again, but I realise I sometimes need to let out certain things, and a blog certainly seems to be a quick and easy way for that. Besides, it's not like I'm forcing anyone to read it, right?

I haven't been doing that much kinky stuff in recent weeks. I'm still using my aneros at least once a week, usually more. I still love it, but I'm definitely considering buying another one. I just don't know if I should get a smaller one (the SGX) or a larger one (the Progasm). The easy answer is both, but my bank account wouldn't agree with that.
I'll also need to buy some more lubricant soon; I bought a big bottle last year, and thanks to using the aneros so much, it's almost empty. Might as well buy a new toy to go along with it, right?

In the past few weeks, I masturbated almost every night, just before going to bed. That's nothing new really, it's pretty much a habit (ever since I first started masturbating), and a "nightcap" of sorts. I usually fall asleep within 10 minutes of coming. I don't always do it, and try to stop myself from doing it by reading a book just before going to bed (which also helps me get to sleep faster). I still do it about 4 nights of the week though, at least.

2 days ago, I was feeling horny, started watching porn, read some stuff on altarboy's site, and came very close to orgasming. But what did I do instead? I closed the pc, went to my room, got out the cb6000 and put it on. Anyone see the logic in this? I think it was a way of punishing myself for masturbating so much (well, 4-5 times a week probably isn't that much for a man without partner, but still). Reason aside, I'm staying locked up until sunday evening, maybe even monday evening. And unlike last time, no edging either. No contact with my penis whatsoever (and can you believe it, just as I'm typing this I get an erection. Down boy, down!). I am going to do an aneros session later today, it's much easier to focus on the anal pleasure when my penis isn't in the way.

Oh yeah, there's also this:


Ordered this a month or two ago. The SLRN is the number I have on The Slave Register. Yeah that might look a bit silly to some, but I always had an obsession with dogtags (and barcodes as well, actually), so I quite like it.

Okay, that's it for now.

out of touch

Things have been pretty quiet on the kink front.
I haven't been feeling too well recently, first a stomach bug or something and then a headache that lasted almost 3 days.

Yesterday I got out the good ol' aneros. I didn't have much fun sadly. The aneros felt...harder than I used to. Last week I hardly noticed it when it was inside me, now it was as if it suddenly was twice as big. I've only had it in me for about a half an hour.
Apart from that I was also far too horny. I really wanted to bring myself to an orgasm. I was feeling great and was very close to climaxing, but the aneros just didn't feel right and I took it out. Had a nice orgasm though. I might try the aneros again tonight. I'm more relaxed right now.

I had some new fantasies as well. One of them was a sort of sequel to a story I wrote and published on a dutch site. It was written in first person, with the storyteller (me) training a young unexperienced submissive. The weird thing is that it's the only story I wrote where I am the master, and it's also by far the sweetest story. Probably also the most realistic one. For that reason I guess, it's also the one I'd love to be real. It's sort of confusing to me, because I really consider myself a naturally submissive guy. But the idea of being with a submissive guy, with mutual love between us, is something that appeals to me far more than being a slave, and all those other things I fantasize about. I can't explain, and because it confuses me so, I'd rather not think about it. ...although I still plan on writing more chapters for that story heh. I'll consider it mental masochism.

The weather has been changing rapidly and today was a hot spring day. The season changes always make me more crazy and creative. All the creativity is still in my head though, so it's a bit useless. I did take some pics (the two feet pics), I've been thinking of doing that since last week or so. Like I say in one of the pics, I don't like my feet (or ankles) but I do seem to have a thing for other people's ankles, and I like anklets for sure, especially on guys. Are anklets a girly thing? I guess society thinks so, but I don't. As far as I'm concerned, it's the same with navel piercings; just because it's mainly girls doing it shouldn't mean guys can't do it without being called girly or gay or whatever. It should be considered gender-neutral. Like, um, pants! Or something like that. (oh okay, feel free to call me girly then if you must. I'll pretend I don't hear it.)

I'll do another update soon.

conclusion

2 nights ago, I had another go with the aneros while being locked up. Third time lucky? Not quite. I didn't even get as far as I did the two previous times. It's my own fault though. I inserted it, and left it alone for about 20 minutes, but didn't do any breathing exercises. I think I also started off too strong. I had to tell myself to relax, but I couldn't for some reason, and I decided to give up.

That was also my last day and night locked up. I took the cb6000 off sunday morning. Spent the day as I normally would, and in the evening I had some fun with the aneros. This time, it went very well. It was still different than the first two times though, there were hardly any automatic contractions, but I could work my muscles much better than before. I was able to basically fuck myself in a steady rhythm, just by contracting my muscles. I was able to do it in different speeds as well. At one point, I got a feeling very similar to that near-orgasm I described earlier. This time it felt like my asshole was on fire (in a good way), and the warmth spread out through my whole body. This feeling lasted just a couple of seconds, but it was very pleasurable. Was this my first anal orgasm? No idea, but it felt really good.
My ideal position for this seems to be sort of half on my side, half on my stomach.

I continued for a while, but eventually I started giving more attention to my penis. I took it very slowly, very relaxed. And I was rewarded with a very, very nice orgasm. A great conclusion of 8 days of chastity and 4 nights of anal adventure!

So, what's next? Firstly, I'm not going to lock myself up for a longer period of time. This has been more of a distraction than anything else, and I get the feeling I need to sort a few things out in my life before I do something like this again.
On the other hand, I'm going to continue my "anal adventures", probably several times a week. Tomorrow I'll have some time to myself, and I'm thinking of getting out my much-ignored butt plugs and dildo.

day 7

Yesterday, before going to bed, I played around some more with my aneros. I was definitely more relaxed now, and everything seemed to go just that little easier...but still no anal orgasm or anything. Again, I got the feeling I came close. Frustrating in a way, but just getting to that stage close to orgasming is reward enough for me. I'm really enjoying this, much more than playing around with a butt plug or dildo. I get the feeling I'm even picking up techniques that will make me enjoy anal play even more.

So, today was day 7 in chastity. A full week! I'm happy I made it. I'm going to do one extra day, and then relax. I don't think I'm going to jerk off right after unlocking myself. I used to do that and it made orgasming more like an obligation, not something that should be fun. I think the last time I locked myself up for more than 3 days (last June, apparently), I did just that. I started masturbating, stopped, took a nap, did some other stuff, and finally started masturbating again, very slowly working myself up to an orgasm. Definitely one of the most enjoyable orgasms I had.

Since 2 days ago I'm also feeling that light pressure right above my penis again. Also something I get when I'm locked up for more than a few days. It's really not unpleasant or anything, it seems more like a physical reminder of my lack of cumming.
And today I also felt deliciously horny again, just like that, with nothing to set it off. I love that feeling. Unfortunately I didn't last, as the day went on I started feeling bad, with a headache and everything. I'm better now though.
So tonight, I'm trying the aneros thing again. And tomorrow, I'm probably going to try it with the cage off.


In a way, I actually hate posting stories like in my previous entry. But I know some of you perverts nice people might enjoy it as well, so yeah. I might post one now and then. And maybe repost those 2 or 3 that are now somewhere on my livejournal. I also have to admit I can really only write these when I'm locked up. Otherwise I just fantasize, masturbate, and that's it. I have around 18 files in a "story" folder, and only about 4 of those have a clear beginning and ending, and are things I can actually share. Another 2 or 3 are near completion, but I never seem to properly finish them. I have a really, really long one, the only thing missing is a decent beginning and ending. I'm also rewriting things in my head. Basically, I have too many ideas for this single story, but I hate throwing away my old stuff. As silly as it sounds, I'm too much of a perfectionist when it comes to this. I have trouble letting go with every creative thing I do. Yeah, even erotic fiction. Ah well.

aneros

I bought myself an aneros last year. As they say on their site, it's a "male g-spot simulator". I bought it because the prospect of having orgasms without even touching my penis seemed like fun.

I experimented a few times, and while it felt pleasurable, I never really got a super-orgasm or anything like it. Yeah, some of them where slightly more intense, but still. The thing is, I just couldn't use it without also masturbating. I did get these semi-automatic anal contractions, but not that intense, and nothing more than that.

Today I decided to try it again - while following the instructions on the site by the letter. Well, more or less. Did the breathing exercises, contracting muscles thing, everything they said in the first 3 steps. I changed position from time to time, to see which one was the best. At first it seemed to be on my back, with my legs in a 90° position, one leg on the side and the other up. Later I tried lying on my stomach, legs slightly apart. It seemed much easier to control the contractions lying like this. It didn't take long until this chain reaction they describe in step 2 takes place. It just went on and on, harder and harder, I felt like the aneros was going deeper and deeper inside. I wasn't doing anything anymore, my body was basically fucking itself. It felt like that moment just before cumming, only deeper. I thought "oh fuck, this is really happening, I'm having an anal orgasm!" And then...

...nothing. Spasms slowed down, and I couldn't start them up again myself. I took a short break, and started again. I got close, but still couldn't reach that full automatic state. Took another break and tried for a third time, but it was obvious my muscles where getting tired.

This has certainly been a breakthrough for me, in more than one way. First of all, it's as far as I ever got with the aneros. I think I have my cb6000 to thank, other times I just started masturbating straight away. Secondly, I could've never thought I'd ever get this feeling in my ass. It was "only" a near-orgasm, but it's the first time I felt something like this without touching my penis. Also, it's nice to see the aneros actually works with me. There's plenty of toys I have that don't exactly work on me (my balls are too small for the ballstretcher I have - sigh), so I'm happy I'm actually "normal" for a change.

So I'm definitely going to train some more, maybe tonight, definitely tomorrow. Even if I don't have an orgasm, it's worth trying again just for that near-orgasm feeling. I think my mistake now was that I was too excited about orgasming, next time I should just relax and let it come over me. I've said this to myself before, but I should really try to use the aneros every week or so to further train my muscles. I've said the same about my butt plugs/dildos (I have four but can only use the smallest 2), but this is something I'm definitely going to do.

So yeah, if you're willing to invest some time into it, I can't recommend the aneros enough. I used the standard model (MGX) by the way.